this tweet will be pinned until I become a teacher in France: only 6 months left! I will share my journey until I get my diploma and win the french teacher contest. can’t wait to tweet « Namjoon i did it »

day 1: i studied for three hours and i feel like it’s not enough but i’m drinking wine so everything is fine

so i’m going back to my internship tomorrow, I will be teaching all day long. I prepared my class and worked on my memoire that i need to do in order to have my diploma. I spent my day by working and working... i’m exhausted and i feel really stressed for tmw

short update: i teached on monday and tuesday, and i was not satisfied at all: my pupils seemed to be bored and i don’t want to be that kind of teacher. I want them to be active and joyful! I worked all day long today, preparing my class for tomorrow with different activities +

which I hope will be more interesting for the kids... i was so stressed and unsatisfied. i’m waking up at 5:30am tomorrow (the usual https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😴" title="Sleeping face" aria-label="Emoji: Sleeping face">), and i can’t wait bc tomorrow will be released the SHADOW TRAILER!!!! my 1st cb trailer omg https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🥺" title="Pleading face" aria-label="Emoji: Pleading face"> ok that’s it for today! https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="💜" title="Purple heart" aria-label="Emoji: Purple heart">

i have to update this thread: last night was a nightmare for me. i had several anxiety attacks and the pills didn’t work that time. i felt asleep bc i was too exhausted. i can’t wait for my studies to end. it’s too hard. i think about quitting really often.

new update: i had the worst week ever. too much work, too much pressure + anxiety attacks again.

i tried to be more relaxed this week, repeating myself that i can do it, and for now it works! I introduced japanese poetry to my pupils and they were really interested!
Now time to stream Shadow while i’m preparing my class for tomorrow https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="👁" title="Eye" aria-label="Emoji: Eye">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="👄" title="Mouth" aria-label="Emoji: Mouth">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="👁" title="Eye" aria-label="Emoji: Eye">

sad update: went to a doctor bc of anxiety crises (again), didn’t help at all, feeling devastated and empty, dk what to do with my life anymore, crying while listening to not today, what’s new lmao

TIME TO UPDATE AGAIN: I feel so much better! I took time for myself only, went to the cinema alone, went to a café alone, went looking at the mountains alone, things like that. it was so good. now i feel motivated again!
2 months left until the contest. let’s get this bread!!

today marked the release of the 2nd mv for ON. we are streaming hard bc our goal is to reach 90M view in 24 hours. i’m streaming for 7 hours now while i’m studying. proud of myself!! the contest is near... but the comeback gives me some much strength!! i’ll do it https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="✊🏼" title="Raised fist (medium light skin tone)" aria-label="Emoji: Raised fist (medium light skin tone)">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="💜" title="Purple heart" aria-label="Emoji: Purple heart">

update cause i want to remember this moment of my life, being able to come back and read this thread when i’ll succeed:
today i feel anxious, the first part of the contest is in less than one month. i feel like i’m not doing enough and it’s so hard to be motivated bc i’m tired +

of this! but i know that i just need to focus more. it’s just so hard!
these days, i finished my 2nd internship. i spent my uni break alone, studying, streaming, working for this internship (it was at a library, and i just carried boxes full of books), working out...

So:
- 1 semester: https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="✅" title="White heavy check mark" aria-label="Emoji: White heavy check mark">
- 1st internship: https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="✅" title="White heavy check mark" aria-label="Emoji: White heavy check mark">
- 2nd internship: https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="✅" title="White heavy check mark" aria-label="Emoji: White heavy check mark">
- 2nd semester: https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🕑" title="Clock face two oclock" aria-label="Emoji: Clock face two oclock">
- 1st part of the contest: https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🕑" title="Clock face two oclock" aria-label="Emoji: Clock face two oclock">
- 2nd part : https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🕒" title="Clock face three oclock" aria-label="Emoji: Clock face three oclock">
- 3rd part: https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🕑" title="Clock face two oclock" aria-label="Emoji: Clock face two oclock">
- mémoire: https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🕑" title="Clock face two oclock" aria-label="Emoji: Clock face two oclock">

tomorrow, the real and the hardest part is starting. pls, tomorrow-me, don’t give up!! we can do it. I trust you!!!!

3am insomnia update: i booked my flight for the contest, i hope that it will not be cancelled due to the coronavirus.
yesterday, the french government released the number of winners for this year per geographic zones.
there will be 30% winners this year!

i need to update this thread.... but i’m scared to do it cause the entire world is fucked up rn. i’ll do it later
time to work on my essay