Dear Human, in 2020, try the following;

1. When you text someone that isn’t a close pal or text for the first time, say hello, state your purpose for texting or sending a dm.

EG

“Hey”

“Hello, my name is .... . If you’re not busy, I’d love information on ...”

2. When there’s a flyer,poster or IV for an event, read all the details . Make sure you read everything on that paper or graphic design.

It’s embarrassing to still ask for info that has been clearly stated.

It won’t take up to 5 minutes. Settle down and read please.

3. Always introduce yourself when you call someone you’re not well acquainted with.

We are actually tired of “so you don’t know my voice”

“So you don’t have my number”

We will now proceed and reply you with “Na so we see am oh”

Let’s all be guided.

4. Do not be offended when your social media Faves / role models/ people you admire sha don’t rely your comments or respond to your DMs.

Their office or hustle might be social media but they have lives. Some of them even try. Some of them go through stuff. They’re humans.

5. Don’t start bad mouthing a business or service or a creative because you can’t afford it/them. There’s no such thing as too expensive. You just can’t afford it and that’s fine .

6. If someone (someone that is not your Dad, mum or family sha cuz some people are mad and will start arguing with me) offers to pay for something you’re getting, don’t run back to pack more. Only pick what you can pay for.

6b. Don’t use a first date to go to that expensive restaurant you can’t afford. You can plan towards it and take yourself out.

Using a first date as opportunity to order heaven and earth portrays you as greedy and tbh . Only order what you can afford to pay for.

7. DO NOT LITTER THE STREETS.
Please hold the wrapper or keep it in your pockets till you find a bin.

7B. Don’t wash your hands inside the plate @ that mama put joint. Yes! It’s you I’m talking to. Find a bowl or step out and use the sachet of pure water to wash your hands.

8. Don’t forcefully go for a hug when the person reaches out for a handshake. Don’t go for a peck when the person clearly just wanted a hug. I’m sure you can read body language. Learn to respect personal space. You mustn’t touch someone to get their attention.

9. If you shoot your shot and get rejected, don’t say it’s their loss

Carry your L with your chest. They don’t just like you and that’s fine tbh.

10. Instead of saying “nothing” , try to communicate your feelings.

If your phone is with you when he/she calls, pick.

If you wanna double text, have a blast.

If you miss the person, say it.

Enough of silent treatment, mind games.

We’re grown ups.

11. “You have added weight”
“You’ve lost weight”
“Ah your face is getting rough oh”
“My cousin has not had crises since so so pastor laid hands on him....”
“Our next healing school is...”
“There’s this new drug”