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To prove that I am the clumsiest person on the planet I’m starting a thread of all the weird ways I injure myself so here’s number one: I just cut myself while trying to twist my deodorant up to make more come out
Today I cut my thumb while opening a cup of yogurt 
Guess who cut her finger while filing her nails!!!!
This one happened a while ago and I forgot to tweet it but I cut a chunk of skin off of my thumb while grating some Parmesan :/
reviving this thread so say that i cut my finger while opening a packet of frosting for a brownie (brownie was delicious tho, definitely worth the injury)
