Read on Twitter
I have sex with fat people, and it's not revolutionary: a thread.
I'm super leery of non-fat people who frame sex with fat folks as an act of liberation. Similar to when they do it to trans folks, it's always seemed very "sensational" to me.
I'm often complimented or thanked about my profile language on The Apps™.
All they say are that I'm trans, don't like white people, and am into HIV+ folks, femmes, and all kinds of bodies. Nothing about this deserves to be complimented or thanked.
All they say are that I'm trans, don't like white people, and am into HIV+ folks, femmes, and all kinds of bodies. Nothing about this deserves to be complimented or thanked.
I often think about the fat folks who sheepishly ask if I'm "into chubby people" before sending their nudes.
And the fat folks who offer to keep their shirts on or turn the lights off...as if they hoped the offer would persuade me to see them.
And the fat folks who were shocked when I asked if I could feel them up during play or sexytimes.
(FYI: I ask everyone this question, and you should, too.)
(FYI: I ask everyone this question, and you should, too.)
And the fat folks who seem surprised when I wrap both of my arms around them for hugs instead of doing that half-assed one-armed hug thin people do when they're scared to touch fat people.
And the fat folks who think they can't do rope bondage or suspension. (Y'all can. It sometimes requires thicker rope, for comfort and safety.)
And the fat folks who have "joked" about being too big for my small frame to handle, and were speechless when I knew how to make things work. (Meaning: not expecting their bodies to do the same things or move in the same ways as thin bodies.)
I've always thought it strange not to admit that people have sex differently. Maybe skinnybae can put their ankles next to their ears, but fatbae may not be able to. Ignoring that seems phobic to me, in that "I don't see race" equivalent kind of way...
It's okay to admit that there are tips and tricks to sex with fat folks. There are also tips and tricks to sex with trans folks, disabled folks, etc. Sex isn't "one mode fits all." Our bodies are different, so our sex needs to be different, too.
Where I was going with this is that fat folks are hot and deserve so much better than crumbs many thin people offer, thinking that they're doing fat folks a "favour."
No one wants your pity fuck, thin fuckboy. Go away.
No one wants your pity fuck, thin fuckboy. Go away.
I have sex with fat people because they're hot.
Not because they're fat.
Not in spite of them being fat.
Not b/c it's "more cushion for the pushin."
Not b/c they "wear it well."
Not b/c "thick thighs save lives."
Not b/c they're "big but healthy."
Because. they. are. hot.
Not because they're fat.
Not in spite of them being fat.
Not b/c it's "more cushion for the pushin."
Not b/c they "wear it well."
Not b/c "thick thighs save lives."
Not b/c they're "big but healthy."
Because. they. are. hot.
Folks stay trying to offer witty qualifiers about why fat people are attractive. Celebrate fat bodies without the backhanded "compliments."
Having sex with fat people isn't a political statement.
I don't do it because I'm a radical.
I don't do it in the name of liberation.
I do it because shorty is fine af and I like butt touchin.
I don't do it because I'm a radical.
I don't do it in the name of liberation.
I do it because shorty is fine af and I like butt touchin.
Nothing I'm saying is new, btw. Fat folks have BEEN talking about fatphobia in sex culture, queer politics, etc.
"What Everyone Needs to Know, But Is Afraid to Ask About Fat Sex" (2015) https://everydayfeminism.com/2015/12/fat-sex-common-questions/
"The Transformative Power Of Seeing Fat-Girl Sex On TV" (2019) https://www.huffpost.com/entry/shrill-hulu-sex-scene_n_5c98e745e4b057f7330dd1af
"Why I Won’t (Read: Can’t) Hook Up With You" (2019) https://saltyworld.net/why-i-wont-read-cant-hook-up-with-you/
"The Gender Nonconformity of My Fatness" (2018) https://thebodyisnotanapology.com/magazine/the-gender-nonconformity-of-my-fatness/
"Super Fat Erasure: 4 Ways Smaller Fat Bodies Crowd the Conversation" (2019) https://thebodyisnotanapology.com/magazine/super-fat-erasure-how-smaller-fat-bodies-crowd-the-conversation/
Also: don't have sex with fat people as a way to "overcome" your fatphobia. It's fatphobic.
Also also: don't think that having fat friends, family, or partners means you're not fatphobic. You may be "nice" to them (I doubt it), but how do you treat fat folks you don't know?
Alsooooooo: there are lots of reasons and ways to drag people you don't like. Their fatness isn't one of them.
Moral of the story: thin people need to be better, small fat people need to fall back, and big fat people can do and wear what they want.
Thanks for coming to my TED Talk.
Thanks for coming to my TED Talk.
"Yes - You Can Grab My Belly While We Fuck" x Laura Delarato (2020) https://www.saltyworld.net/yes-you-can-grab-my-belly-while-we-fuck
