A thread about social justice and privilege: I’m putting this out there because it’s important to me, especially with the current state of things. “How do I have a conversation with someone who dismisses my experiences?”

It comes down to privilege, a word that quickly ensures defenses go up. Having privilege doesn’t mean you’re handed everything on a silver platter. It doesn’t mean you don’t work hard or deserve the fruits of your labor.

It means there are certain things afforded to you by society that others do not have if they’re not part of that privileged identity. These are often invisible. We all have privilege in one form of another, just as we all have oppression.

Few people are all: white, male, straight, Christian, upper/upper-middle class, young, cisgender, educated, and able-bodied. These are privileged identities in the U.S. Most of us hold some privilege and some oppression, which create the intersectionality of our identities.

I’m Chinese, female, atheist. These are also the identities I most strongly identify with because each day I actively think about how to navigate the world being these things. I have the privilege of not having to think about being straight, cisgender, able-bodied, etc.

Because of these privileges, though, it’s my duty to be an ally to those who do not hold the privileges I do, the same way I hope those who hold privileges of race, gender, and religiosity can be allies to someone like me.

If someone who has a disability or identifies as LGBTQIA or is an older adult tells me they’re hurt or offended by something I don’t personally relate to, I don’t tell them they’re wrong just because I don’t experience what they do. I listen, learn, and try to do better.

How to have a conversation? Relate to an identity where someone does not hold privilege. Talking to a white woman who thinks “all lives matter”? Ask if she ever worries about equal pay or reproductive rights or sexual assault. Ask how she feels if a man dismisses her worries.

Use it as common ground to discuss how her experiences as a woman may relate to how a POC may feel when a white person dismisses them. (Side note: I’m not doing a “which is worse” analysis. It’s about empathy and finding ways to relate.)

I’m not saying this is guaranteed to work. Again, talking about privilege makes defenses go up, but that’s why I start with oppression. We are able to identify and talk about these identities much more willingly. Start there, then move to privilege and find a way to relate.

I don’t know if anyone will read this, but I just needed to say something. If nothing else, please read Peggy McIntosh’s “Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack.”

https://www.racialequitytools.org/resourcefiles/mcintosh.pdf

Fin.