1) So, you’re a Newbie, you’re pretty funny … or maybe you’re not. Doesn’t matter for right now because nobody will see your shit anyway. Give it time. Just be patient!

2) Don't be an Asshole!

3) “This is it, THIS is the tweet thats gonna blow up and get me Viral”

Maybe, but no, it probably won’t. Unless it does, but it won’t, but it might. The dumbest joke, that you took milliseconds to come up with will probably be one of your first big hits. Don’t overthink it.

4) “I’m not gonna follow a load of people, I'm building a core fanbase. Just a small select Following list so i look cool”

Ok, but if you follow bigger, funnier accounts then maybe if you’re lucky they’ll get you back and start paying attention to you.

5) “I’m not retweeting just anything, Oh I’ll like something, but my retweets are precious. I’m not just handing them out. I’m trying to curate a brand here”

Up to you, but people notice if they retweet you a lot you but don’t return the favour.

6) Get yourself a bio link

7) If you like an account then crawl their timeline via the bio link mentioned above. This means to like and RT lots of their tweets. Its Twitters Handjob and it feels good when it happens. If you’re lucky they may crawl you back.

8) Take the time to leave a comment on a post if you really liked it. Likes and RTs are one thing but a personal comment means a lot to the OP.

9) Don’t be an asshole

10) Adding a fun new addition to someone else’s joke thread can be ok. Retelling the same joke back to the OP is not. Nor is suggesting better edits of their joke to them, unless you know them well enough to do that.

11) A compliment on your post is not an Invitation to DM

12) Don’t steal. Do a search for your “brand new original joke”, it may have been done before.

13) You can be a Reply guy but do it in a nice way. If you don’t like someones joke, keep scrolling. If you feel the need to hop on their thread to complain then you’re an Asshole.

14) Don’t be an Asshole

15) Don’t send nudes, unless you’ve been asked to. They do get shared around and FWIW it was cold that day.

16) Don’t be precious. If you aren’t prepared for Tweets to be ignored, criticised and stolen. Don’t send it.

17) Get into DM rooms. If you’re lucky you’ll get noticed and invited into some. For help on how to do this see rule 14

18) Don’t put hashtags in your joke tweets without good reason. It can look weird and needy (Yes I used to do it ... it looked weird and needy)

19) Enter each and every Tweet Call and Competition you can, its your best shot at being noticed when you’re small.

20) If you do enter a Tweet Call, Retweet the Call, don’t just splash and dash. Better still is hang around and show some support to the other folk who entered.

21) Remember, that none of this means anything really. Be here to make friends, make your jokes a secondary reason for being here. If your tweets take off, great. But it needs to be a secondary motivation.

22) Don’t be an Asshole

23) Don’t be in a rush to have thousands of followers. My happiest times here were between 300-500 followers. Getting bigger doesn’t mean ‘Better’ or ‘Easier’!

24) Things start getting ... weird after 1K

25) There are lovely supportive people here. But there are more Monsters. Surround yourself with the former.

26) Jokes you think beneath you will hit 5 figure likes. Your well crafted wordplay that references 2 classic novels will not. Unless it does, Who knows?

27) If you feel its all getting too much, take a break. Its just an App. It’ll still be here if and when you want to come back, as will the good friends you made.

28) Nothing here is Guaranteed*

*You WILL see Dick pics, Guaranteed.

29) Follow -
@stewteee
@Danzig303
@IndecisiveJones
@ShellHasDragons
@MindPassionate
@ObiWanPunobi
@LockWilford
@toomanycommas3
@ln0217
@Tobi_Is_Fab
@sheseemslegit
@shroudedstar
These people either put me in my first rooms or are tireless champions of small accounts.

30) Seriously tho, don't be an Asshole!