married ph!bkdk where kacchan writes a letter to deku each time they're away from each other for too long, but he never sends them bc feels embarrassed as soon as he finishes writing. To not feel like a loser he doesn't throw the letters, instead saving them on a box, hiding away

on the closet's corner. For around 5 years, he as written a hundred of "love" letters , where he went from cursing deku for being away for too long and ended up with half attempts at poetry about his forest green eyes. Obvious he'd ever send this. embarrassing af. But he actually

feels better about things once he finishes writing, like some kind of vent, and goes on with his daily duty less grumpy.

but what if one day while searching for something else, Deku finds a strange shoe box at the deep end of the closet room?

It happens this particular day, where deku is back after a month overseas.
Katsuki was expecting him to arrive earlier than him, so he goes ahead and buys groceries. God knows how empty the shelves are, Katsuki chose to eat outside instead drowning in his pathetic loneliness-

"Deku?" He calls inside but gets no reply. It's not odd, he could be asleep after the long trip.

He leaves the bags over the counter and wanders to the bedroom, the door open ajar.

There's a small rustle inside-

"What, so you're awak—" he stops as soon as he registers the scene,

There's deku sitting on the bed, legs crossed. Around him , hundred and hundred of envelopes and thin ink papers were scattered everywhere.

Katsuki's face explodes with red, and his hands would have started

Releasing sparks if Deku's expression hadn't left him confused-- he's all red, snot and tears.

"WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU CRYING" he yells half worried but his previous embarrassment is making it difficult for him to lower his guard.

"Ka-Kachaaan— you- you.... T-these letters..."

He's pathetically sobbing over one of the papers he's holding, struggling to form a coherent sentence.

All rage or embarrassment he coul feel disappears as he gets close to the bed and ruffles Deku's curls.

"D-Do you really..." Izuku starts after a while, his voice wavering less after some minutes of Kacchan petting his head. "Think all thisabout me?"

He wants to deflect and immediately reply 'no, i dont, shitty deku' but he knows this is not the time. He has to be honest now-

all the letters are lying on bed, and that's basically half of Katsuki's secrets at Izuku's reach.

He sits next to deku with a sigh. "Yeah. But its dumb-"

"It's not, Kacchan! he interrupts him and turns around so quickly both bounce in bed for a little. "This is all..."

He extends his hand towards a little pile. "You wrote these during winter, and these during summer and spring- these when i was on HK, and then on the south--" his mumbling becomes too rushed.

"What the hell?" Katsuki now sees more clearly that the scattered mess isn't as much

of it- its all separated in sets like he was sorting them with dedication.
"..Why the fuck are you handling these like paperwork?"

"Oh i just," now hes the one flustered. "I didn't notice..."

Katsuki snorts and deku's cheeks redden a little more before he gives up a laugh on his own. "Sorry."

"... what are you apologizing for?"

"I feel like I've done something I shouldn't... Like," Izuku gestures vaguely. "Invading your privacy,"

"Don't be dumb. We live together."

"Yes but," he looks at the pile in front of him, touches one of the envelopes with his fingertips, as if its going to break if not handled delicately. "..was I supposed to find these?"

"No." Katsuki is honest. He probably prefers

to be killed before being caught spewing cheesy shit for his husband...

Or maybe he's just exaggerating. Because nothing about Deku's reaction makes sense to him, isn't what he was expecting.His face is all red from crying and he's softly apologizing like he.. did something bad

like if Katsuki isn't the dumb one to save all these letters in the closet.

It suddenly dawns on him, that this reaction coming from Deku isn't exactly what he expected, but it means something that should bother him. /deku is crying because i never tell him this stuff/

is he really that shitty of a lover? Apparently, yes.

Even though he always conveyed his feelings to Deku, some way or another - in convoluted ways-, there's still something missing in their bond.

Katsuki took it for granted, and now he feels BAD.

All embarrasment is gone, and now is replaced with dread.

As he's thinking this, he forgets to even continue his sentence, and Deku is fidgeting now.

"O-Oh. Then... Let's pretend I never seen them... Its okay really, dont worry! it was my fault for dig around and-"

"Deku,"

"I should have asked you first! Eventhoughyouweren't here ohwell,hmiwasjustsearchingformyshirtshirtandisawthatbox-"

"DEKU."

He squeaks: "YES?"

"I love you."

He knows hes frowning and probably looking like bloody murder- but he has to say it now or he will run away as soon as his brain catches up. He hasn't said it in a while, but he thought he translated it well enough with his actions. Everyday, all the time.

Well,

apparently Izuku appreciates shitty words, if his eyes shining are any indication.

He looks like Katsuki had just told him he's the legitimate son of All Might or something - He looks winded and his cheeks are so red his freckles are dissapearing.

Hell, Izuku really needs it.

Katsuki feels his hands shaking as he grabs his face.
"I love you & you better remember it. Got it?"

"Kacchan.."Izuku swallows, his eyes are focused on the envelopes before he goes back to his husband. "So you think my freckles are as cute as stars?"

...Hes going to kill Deku.

"You dream with me and when I'm with you wish you could hug me all the time?"

Katsuki gapes at him. He's quoting the things /he/ has written.

Stupid, cheesy thoughts Katsuki laid on paper&ink.

"Is that all true, Kacchan?"

/This is embarrasing as fuck./ It's the last thing he ponders before resting his head on Izuku's shoulder.

"...YES. Now shut up."

He can feel Izuku's shaking. With laughter or crying, he isn't sure. "I have another question..."

"I've replied enough for the letters."

"Oh, it's not about the content of the letters."

Kacchan looks up, confused he mutters. "What is is then."

Izuku's smile is small and sweet. He's tearing up again.

"Can I have them?"

"...what."

"I want to treasure them."

"You..."

"Yes."

Katsuki levels up and kisses him. Izuku replies so eagerly he hugs his back like brought by a magnet.

It's gross, cheesy and too warm but... its okay.

Deku is always like this...

Fuck, he loves him so much.

When they finally separate, Katsuki grumbles:

"Do whatever you want."

"Okay. But I /wouldn't/ mind more." His sheepish smile makes him snort.

He's sure he's all red, looking all soft & mushy like Deku describes him sometimes..

"And when you do, I can write you back."

/END

okay, this was a silly thing with no direction anyway .

STAN BKDK