TW: suicide

What if Kacchan gets hits by a quirk that makes him continuously live his worst nightmare over and over again in different ways.

That nightmare is losing Deku.

First it’s Deku killing himself in middle school.

Then it’s Deku dying in the sludge inicident.

Deku killing himself bc his hero told him he can’t be a hero bc he’s quirkless.

Deku becoming a villain for that same reason and dying by Katsuki’s hands.

Deku dying when they’re kids because Kacchan pushed him a little too hard and he fell down a hill into the river.

He doesn’t always die either.

Sometimes Katsuki loses him to someone else.

He’s lost him to Todoroki. They get married.

He’s lost him to Uraraka. They have kids.

He’s lost him to Kirishima. They grow old together.

He’s lost him to a Shigaraki. They won Deku over.

One time, Deku simply moved away and Katsuki didn’t see him again until a villain incident. He was the one who pulled Deku’s dead body out of the rubble.

Maybe one of the worst is a day when Katsuki was finally accepting his feelings. He was gonna tell the stupid nerd.

But there’s a villain attack before he can.

They work together better than anyone. They almost win.

Deku dies in Bakugou’s arms. He didn’t reach out in time. Bakugou sobs over Deku’s dead body about how much he loves him and how sorry he is.

Katsuki remembers all of these times but there’s nothing he can do to stop it.

He’s in endless loop until the quirk he was hit by wears off and he wakes up from the months long coma he was in.

The first person he sees is Deku, hunched over form sleeping on the edge of Katsuki’s medical bed.

Katsuki is scared. Paranoid. What if it’s another nightmare? How will Deku die this time? Katsuki is so tired of finding out.

He doesn’t even want to wake him up.

But Deku feels Katsuki moving and trembling and wakes up anyways.

Izuku’s eyes widen and be shoots up faster than lightning. “K-Kacchan! Kacchan oh my god, y-you’re awake! I have to- oh my god I need to call the doctors.” He’s sobbing already.

Katsuki watches him until he’s reaching for the help button, snatching Izuku’s wrist faster than he should probably be able to.

Izuku jumps, glancing down to Katsuki’s hand and then up to his face slowly.

Katsuki isn’t looking at him, staring at his lap with tears brimming.

“Kacchan...? A-Are you okay? What’s wrong? I-I should really call a doctor...I don’t know if you realize how long you’ve been out b-but it’s been a long time and I’m trying really hard not to cry about it because I know you don’t like that and—“

Katsuki interrupts his rambling.

“I love you.”

He whispers it out hoarsely, shoulders starting to shake.

Katsuki is so scared this is another nightmare. Or that his nightmares will become reality. All those times he didn’t get to tell Izuku before he was gone or taken...they haunt him now.

So he gets it out while he can. He gets it out before anything can happen and so if Izuku does die at least he knows that Katsuki loves him. He wants him. He wants to be with him.

Izuku is like a deer in the headlights, eyes wide as he stares at Katsuki.

Then he relaxes, a light blush on his cheeks as tears keep coming down his cheeks. He smiles softly.

“I-...I love you too, Kacchan..” he says, sniffling

Katsuki pulls him in roughly, hugging him tightly. He doesn’t let go for a long time. Izuku doesn’t mind.

END