Often, I think about how I ate TWO edibles, thinking they were gourmet cookies, during intermission of a panel I was on and told my bestie to call 911 because I was having a heart attack.

I was really in Memphis howling at the moon and peeing my pants in public. God my savior.

Y’all.

I can laugh about it now but it was BAAAAAAD.

I really ate a chocolate chip cookie and a strawberry cookie during intermission. Came back. I think I was sitting beside Panama or he was one over. Either way, I cussed out the convener, got up and walked offstage.

I told my friend to call 911 because I was having a heart attack or a stroke. She did.

Having the mom I had, I know what you’re supposed to do (hold your arms up, keep talking, smile) so they can see your range of motion. I was doing all that fine.

Mind you- I’d told my bestie that I couldn’t feel my legs so she literally has me slammed against a glass door with her knees in my kneecaps holding me.

911 operator told them to tell me to say “Yummy yummy in my tummy tummy”

Chile....

I said “yummy yummy in my tummy tummy” and got to body rolling.

Seriously.

Like Ciara’s “Body Party” body rolling while repeating “yummy yummy in my tummy tummy” over and over.

My bestie and other homegirl were like “what...the...fuuuuck?!”

Somehow, Audria (my bestie) has foresight to go ask about the cookies. She came back and told my girl @VHasanMIF to hang up with the police because I was high.

BAAAAAAAAAAAABY. That’s when the night TURNED.

Imagine trying to get a panelist who is SKY HIGH quietly out of a building in the middle of a Memphis snowstorm. Weed mellows others. Interacting with my antidepressant, I was extremely hyper and uncontrollable. It was a mess.

I became convinced I missed the Rapture and I was left on earth with the robots from that Will Smith movie. I started crying and repenting for not being the Christian I should be. I started speaking in tongues. Audria kept saying “BITCH SHUT UP!” I would yell “you’re NOT her!”

I called @dustinjpickett and @LeahPannell because I thought I missed the Rapture.

Then I just kept saying “WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW” over and over.

I rolled down my window and HOWLED at the moon. HOWLED.

Mind you, it’s Memphis on a Saturday night. Cops everywhere.

Audria was like “Candice, if you do not stop, you’re going to go to jail.” I looked dead at her and started singing.

We pulled up at a restaurant. She got out, came to my side to get me. I had one leg out, started laughing and she put my leg right back in and closed the door.

She stopped at a gas station and bought me a bottle of water.

I drank it and went to sleep.

I woke up and threw up in her car twice.

I went back to sleep.

We got to her house. She carried me inside.

I thought this had been an HOURS long ordeal. She said 30 minutes.

I woke up the next day and felt like I’d been jumped.

I talked to the host. She said they were edibles and I should’ve been told. She apologized but I was too hot about it.

Audria was like “Candice, I love you but I can’t talk to you for two weeks.” She did just that.

This was in January.

It was a mess.

I KNOWINGLY had a pinch of a vanilla cupcake edible and was singing hymns and crying for 3 days. Ain’t no way I’m eating 2 cookies while I’m on stage and gotta speak.

This is why I keep a pack of Nabs and a bottle of water in my purse now. Cause I ate them damn cookies cause it was intermission, I was hungry and the food was gone.

Won’t catch me slipping again. Will. Not.

Chile....now that I think about it, if this didn’t confirm God has big things in store for me. Cause the enemy literally tried to take me out!

I’m glad this thread made so many of y’all laugh today.

And I’m not believing yall’s “my edibles trip was bad but not THAT bad” lies!

Share the foolishness with the rest of us so we can be the judge!