storytime: that one time i passed out and when i regained consciousness i was convinced i was louis tomlinson

disclaimer: its a thread and short and silly so enjoy!
CONTENT WARNING: alcohol, blackout, hospitals

so this was last year and i went to a college party where some punk ass was like “i bet i could out drink you” and i said “bet.” (first mistake)

i downed a lot. like a lot. i dont remember how much, but i was continuously pouring, we were playing drinking games, and i knew i was drunk

now these people i was with were complete strangers, they were just my dorm neighbors and invited me over. so they wouldnt know when i was excessively drunk

well. last thing i remember is 1am, jamming, thriving, having a great time. next time i wake up, is 11am in a hospital bed. scariest shit ever

but back to the important part. now these are pieces ive glued together from fleeting memories and what my friends said happened

when i came to after a few minutes after fainting, i immediately had a british accent. my born and raised new york self, never been to the UK, fully british.

my friends were like wtf?? and tried explaining to me what was going on and that i had fainted. but i, did not give a fuck. in the full british accent, i kept calling my two friends liam and niall. saying i was so grateful liam and niall were with me.

they tried telling me thats not who they were (completely losing their shit, of course) but i just wouldnt have it

at the time, my person of interest and i regularly alluded to each other as harry and louis. my conscious mind probably was thinking ‘i need to tell her im okay’ as we never went more than a couple hours without messaging

but, my drunk, louis tomlinson, recently fainted mind could only understand that as ‘i need harry right now.’ so i kept asking, still british, “wheres harry?? i need harry!”

obviously no one thought i meant harry styles, and didnt know who i was talking about. fast forward through the ambulance ride and xrays

i kept asking for harry, and saying everyone was so beautiful. the nurses, the technicians, strangers in the ER. saying they were so beautiful and made me so happy. tpwk.

THIS I REMEMBER CLEAR AS DAY. i had IV’s in me, groggy, waking up a little around 7am ish. THIS IS THE FIRST CONSCIOUS MEMORY I HAVE. THE BEST PART.

i arrived to the hospital with no phone, no wallet, no identification. the people i was partying with only knew my first name. so, when i woke up, they asked me for my name

TO WHICH I SAID, with my whole chest, immediately, in a british accent STILL, “louis tomlinson” .... the nurse’s face yall

I PROCEEDED TO SAY “dont worry about it! my team’s got it handled! just call my manager, hes got it. the public cant know this happened. just call them to take me home” BITCH WHAGSTS

the nurse was like “nah this bitch still fucked up” and didnt write a damn thing on that paper and i fell back to sleep

just IMAGINE. these kind people are trying to get my name and information to help me get home and i tell them TO CALL MY MANAGER and make sure theres a secret exit to not get exposed to the public!!!!!

well i finally woke up, no longer louis tomlinson, and scared shitless. getting home with no way to contact anyone (family were are all far away) was scary. but we got it figured out, got home, and i immediately contacted my harry, dont worry

moral of the story: dont drink excessively when you havent eaten properly and try to not make your brain convinced you are a multimillionaire king so that getting discharged from a hospital is easier