reflecting on the vulnerability of seeking medical care while being misgendered: it's a common experience for me because I have a chronic illness. it forces me to navigate other ppl's transphobia while in pain and needing their support to access to life sustaining treatment.

I have very few defenses in these circumstances and no power to advocate for myself. complaints/human rights processes are time consuming, cost prohibitive, and too slow to actually help in these situations, so I have to rely on my face, voice, and body to "prove" gender.

I use extreme politeness and deference to navigate outward trans hostility and misgendering but it often doesn't change the fundamental dynamic. It's one of the major reasons why I've sought facial feminization surgery because I have to rely to my face to help me access care.

I think people dramatically underestimate how common these experiences are and how much bodily danger that transphobia creates in situations like this: your percieved humanity and trust worthiness is central to the care that you get from medical staff.

being trans, particularly a trans woman where your gendered presentation is read against your medical documentation in hostile ways, means that you rarely are seen as an honest relayer of your experiences/symptoms or considered worth medical care.

there's an entire power structure and hierarchy of medical care that directly correlates to whether or not you are seen to be a "worthy patient" and transphobia often endangers your life by making your life suspect, less worthy, and untrustworthy.

they don't need to hit you to kill you. violence is not always physical. transphobia isn't simply a lack of awareness. these are lethal dynamics and survivoring them requires more than idealogical purity.