Confession time: I have never seen Home Alone all the way through. (I've seen parts but never the whole thing)

Today that changes. Join me as I live tweet my reactions and get into the #Christmas spirit.

#HomeAlone #LiveTweet #ChristmasMovies

Why is only the "e" of "alone" in lowercase on the title screen? Why is the e of so much lesser importance than all the other letters? Is this foreshadowing or just very poor typography??

Oh man. The phone takes me back. We had a phone like that.

Also

"Get off the phone and make me why don't ya."

THE SASS on this kid. My mom wouldn't have put up with that shit.

"I don't know how to pack a suitcase."

You and me both, Kevin. You and me both.

The secret is... NO ONE KNOWS.

"When I grow up and get married I'm living alone."

That's... that's not how that...

Nevermind. I'll let the kid be a kid.

Why is the police officer just hanging out in the hallway? Is he there to arrest the siblings for being rude brats? Why are they throwing bags at him?

WOAH. Shovel slayer mythos is not a thing I've ever seen from this movie. The bodies turning to mummies in salt is going pretty specific. Way to give your brothers nightmares, my dude.

Okay now it's obvious the police officer doesn't know the kids.

I'm so confused. Why is he questioning the small children.

"I don't live here."

No kidding, strange police officer.

OH GOOD. The dad finally stopped to notice the strange police officer.

I'm torn between this police officer being a generally strange, incompetent person and actually being the future villain. Hmmm...

"Did anybody order me a plain cheese?"

Oh man this kid is ME.

WHOOPs. Fight.

Eh, well, the bully kid had it coming.

"Look what you did, you little jerk"

HEY NOW. I don't know who you are stupid guy but don't you dare talk to my fave little sass master like that. How rude.

"Don't you feel like a heel flying first class with all the kids back in coach?"

Yes. You should. Partly cause you forgot a kid and partly because you are leaving all the other coach passengers on an 8 hour flight with all of your unsupervised children.

Kevin walking around calling names all seriously, and all I can think about is "Samantha?" followed by laughter.

"I made my family disappear."

OMG. I appreciate where this is going. I thought they were going down the "and I regret my choices" path but his LITTLE SMILE at the end of the memories makes it for me.

THAT'S RIGHT, BUD. Ya did. Good job.

Oh man. Thirty seconds alone and the kid has found firecrackers and a gun. Not sure if I should be excited because it's a movie or worried because these parents are clearly so incompetent at keeping their children safe.

I appreciate Kevin talking to himself as though his family is still there.

I also appreciate that Kevin's "surprised face" happened at the word "keister" and not at guy shooting another guy (at first).

"What kind of mother am I?" - Mom

Not gonna lie. Not a great one. But dad isn't looking too hot, either. So there's that.

AHA. Police officer is indeed one of the burglars.

I do appreciate his automatic lights trick. Just imagine how many times he had to practice saying that to get it timed just right just so he could impress his buddy for five seconds.

Woah. Kevin turning the light on then running away was brilliant.

Good job, little dude. Way to stay safe.

"Only a wimp would be hiding under the bed."

No, no, little bud. You're doin' good. Go back where you came from. Kevin, no.

Okay, shovel guy scaring the crap out of him is my favorite. A+ not sure this movie can get better.

No wait. The screaming. The over the top acting made it better.

How many times can we drop the title of the movie in a ten minute span? Let's find out.

"We'll send a police officer over to your house to check on your son."

So the movie is over...? Does he kill the police officer?

"What about a private plane?"

HOW. MUCH. MONEY. DO. THESE. PEOPLE. HAVE???

Do tarantulas always follow the same rule as the Checkhov Gun rule? I feel like they do. I sort of want to do a full study and graduate thesis on it now though.

Poor shovel dude is just trying to make a new friend.

Meanwhile, Kevin is on the run from the law. *shakes head* I expected better, bud.

...why did he try to flood the house after robbing it? WHY?

"We're the wet bandits."

"That's a sick thing to do." - THANK YOU fake police officer burglar.

How rude. Really.

OOOOoooooh.

The fake 90s bling moment was for his fake tooth. I thought it was just like a really charming smile or something.

Aww, nineties graphics.

Yeeeeeeees. Brilliant shenanigans begin now.

Great job with the fake people, Kev. Keep it up.

"A lovely cheese pizza just for me."

I feel this satisfaction in my soul.

The pizza gag was cruel but... also very funny.

Sorry pizza guy. If it helps, these people are apparently rolling in cash so I bet the next time they order a billion pizzas they will tip you nicely.

KEVIN IS BUYING LAUNDRY DETERGENT.

He's such a little adult. I've known kids like this and they're amazing.

"Ma'am, I'm eight years old. Do you think I'd be here alone?"

Okay but this cashier lady is the only one with any real sense. Those were some A+ questions, Kev is just one step ahead of ya.

Ah, the furnace again. Ten bucks says one of the burglars ends up burned by that by the end of this movie.

The firecrackers are back!!

way to put them in a pot, Kev, but also maybe don't set off fireworks inside your house, buddy.

"I've been awake for 60 hours... if I have to sell my soul to the devil himself I am going to get home."

Nobody should mess with this woman. She means business.

"I know you're not the real Santa Claus. I'm old enough to know how it works. BUT YOU KNOW HIM."

The innocent purity of this line is precious for a kid who spends so much time pretending to shoot people.

I feel like Kevin and Lilo from Lilo and Stitch would form one hell of a team up against adults. Just saying.

Okay Kevin dramatically walking around feeling sad is all well and good, but when do we get to the pure chaos I have been promised??

Aww, he's having a moment with shovel guy.

WAIT. IS SHOVEL GUY SANTA? IS THIS ONE OF THOSE MOVIES? Or is he Jesus? Or just a friendly neighbor? Only time will tell.

"Aren't you a little old to be afraid?"

"You're never too old to be afraid."

Truth. This. Right here. A very disappointing one.

I was not prepared for this level of feels in this movie. WHY DID NO ONE WARN ME?

I was promised chaos and destruction. Bring back the firecrackers.

Okay. NO. Bad shovel guy.

This kid clearly has had no parental supervision for DAYS. You finally talked to him. WHY ARE YOU NOT ASKING WHERE HIS PARENTS ARE?

BATTLE PLAN. HERE WE GO.

Awww, he remembered the people who had to work on Christmas Eve in his prayer.

This is why he's the hero, folks.

This, and the fact he's an evil little genius.

The chosen shots. The ice. It's already so good.

Oh man. That iron trick was A+.

Seriously, NASA should hire this kid.

I feel like there's a high probability of Kevin burning the house down but also appreciate that he just branded the burglar so... worth it?

What did they want to steal that was worth all this? Do the McCallisters secretly have the Crown Jewels or something? (It wouldn't surprise me TBH)

Holy shit. He planned for what order he thought they would try to come in. That is... that's amazing. O_O This kid is terrifying but fantastic.

I'm starting to understand why my mom was always so worried about our hold house. It had like a million entrances for the size it was. She must have watched this movie too many times.

WAIT. WHEN DID THE PHONES START WORKING AGAIN. WHY DIDNT' HE START WITH THAT??

I appreciate that the burglars are trying to outsmart the kid and failing this badly.

Also if Kevin isn't cutting that rope I'll eat my hat.

Yup. There they go. Excellent.

I was about to ask why he didn't go to Shovel Guy.

Glad to see Shovel Guy saved the day after all.

But most importantly... WHY DID NO ONE TURN OFF THE WATER WHILE THEY WERE IN THE OTHER HOUSE??

Okay but the real question is... is his mom gonna show up the second the police leave to see her house destroyed?

Most unrealistic part of this movie is that an eight year old cleaned up the house that quickly and that efficiently.

Do people really have stockings that say "mom" and "dad"? I feel like I would expect mom and dad to still have names...?

Omg he found the tooth.

Okay I get it. The theme of the movie is "they're family so love them and forgive them."

Which, yeah. Important message.

BUT ALSO Kevin's family was really horrible to him at the beginning. And not sure I love the message that toxic family should be appreciated. Hmm...

Overall really great movie. I can see the hype. Thanks for reading anyone who made it through all of these. :D

Follow me if you want to catch my live tweet of Home Alone 2 some other time!