Read on Twitter
Caregiving: a thread.
I've spent the majority of the past seven weeks coordinating care for my aunt and uncle, who simultaneously went into steep decline. They still live at home. They don't have kids. Their lifelong friends are no longer returning my calls.
I've spent the majority of the past seven weeks coordinating care for my aunt and uncle, who simultaneously went into steep decline. They still live at home. They don't have kids. Their lifelong friends are no longer returning my calls.
If you’ve been in my position, you get it. If you haven’t, it’s tough to describe the magnitude of responsibility and stress.
Suddenly you're in crisis mode basically 12 hours a day. You step out of every meeting to take calls from doctors, nurses, NPs, PAs, home health aides, social workers, banks, lawyers. You take on the impossible task of finding trustworthy resources for elder care and counsel.
In public, you’re in kickass project manager mode. Everyone tells you a million times a day how lucky your relatives are to have your help. At home, your kids ask when things will go back to normal. You don’t know how to answer the question.
My aunt and uncle have savings. They have LTC insurance. What they don’t have is a plan for what happens if everything goes to hell. Now it’s on me and my brother to figure it out. The mental and emotional labor is nearly too much to bear.
I'm sharing this story for three reasons.
First: if you haven’t talked to your parents about finances, long-term care, legal stuff, and final wishes, start that conversation now. It’s scary. No one wants to talk about tough times ahead. But it will prevent a whole lot of unnecessary heartache. https://betterhealthwhileaging.net/3-guides-plus-resources-to-help-with-aging-parents/
Second: in addition to writing positive reviews on every site I can find, I want to recognize @KeystoneMN and @BrightStarCare here. Wading through service directories for this stuff is a nightmare, and I feel insanely lucky to have found these two organizations.
Third: if you’re a caregiver, you are inevitably dealing with some mixture of anxiety, guilt, resentment, exhaustion, and grief. Please find someone to talk to about it. (And if you know a caregiver, let them vent and then give them a hug. Daily.)
OK that's it. If I can answer any questions or give support, my DMs are open.
