There is shame in victimhood. That’s why many groups have stopped using the word victim and call it being a survivor. There is powerlessness and weakness. When you have always understood yourself as a strong person, you struggle to even say you have abused.

Basically the victim must come to terms with this status of being an abused person before they can admit it out loud. Sometimes the ego only allows for we ‘fought’ instead of he beat me.

My dad was robbed with five guns pointed at him and when I saw him he just kept saying “how did I let them do that”. There were five guns. Five. But he still felt like there was something he should have done to prevent them from taking his possessions. Powerlessness is shameful.