Not drinking at Christmas

So you’re not drinking alcohol. Ok. What else is going on? You want a ginger ale or something?

This doesn’t happen.

“Why not?” That’s the question. “Why are you not drinking?”

I’ve been not drinking for a while. It’s easier to answer now. But in those first few months it’s especially hard both to answer and avoid this question. Let’s give people who are trying to not drink a chance to succeed.

Maybe the person you’re talking to isn’t comfortable talking about it. Maybe a lot of things. Maybe the person is pregnant. Is that a question you want to ask? Are you concealing a pregnancy?

It’s funny what people ask. “You’re not an alcoholic are you?”
What if I am?
What if I don’t know and I’m trying to find out.
What if I’m just trying to get through the holidays without making a fool of myself again? Do you want to talk about the last time I did?

Just assume you’re talking to a designated driver. Offer them something else. Be cool. You’re not going to catch alcoholism. And you don’t have to tell me about your friends uncle who’s an alcoholic. That’s none of my business.

Look the answer is never going to be a positive thing people are excited to share. “I start handing out $100 bills to everyone” there isn’t a scenario where you ask why someone isn’t drinking and the conversation gets more comfortable.

Are you really interested in going there? We can. We can talk about powerlessness and unmanageability. But we’re at a Christmas party and you probably just want me to have a good time. That’s where the question comes from. A good place.

“We just want you to be one of us” and I’m here to tell you I am not. I can be with you. I can have fun. I can be part of this but if I drink alcohol bad things happen. So let “Not for me” be enough.