have been sleeping badly all week which has resulted in me becoming increasingly hysterical and I'm now in bits imagining Channel 4 just being the ice statue TV channel, don't want to come on for whatever reason? fine, we have an ice sculptor in speed dial bitch, enjoy melting
[a Channel 4 producer calling an MP]

"well we'd like you to come by on Thurs..."

"ah I'll be back in the constituency, apologies"

[pause.]

"how tall are you and can you send a recent picture of your hair style, for ice purposes"
[Channel 4 meeting room]

Cathy Newman: [chanting] ice ice ice

Jon Snow: ice ice ICE ICE

head of programming: [pounding clipboard] ICE ICE ICE
just picturing some poor ice sculptor's marriage breaking down as he's gone from a quiet life to having to constantly be on call because Channel 4 will simply not stop ordering last minute ice statues of junior ministers who've had to cancel their interviews
ok I think I maybe need to go to bed now
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