have been sleeping badly all week which has resulted in me becoming increasingly hysterical and I'm now in bits imagining Channel 4 just being the ice statue TV channel, don't want to come on for whatever reason? fine, we have an ice sculptor in speed dial bitch, enjoy melting
[a Channel 4 producer calling an MP]
"well we'd like you to come by on Thurs..."
"ah I'll be back in the constituency, apologies"
[pause.]
"how tall are you and can you send a recent picture of your hair style, for ice purposes"
"well we'd like you to come by on Thurs..."
"ah I'll be back in the constituency, apologies"
[pause.]
"how tall are you and can you send a recent picture of your hair style, for ice purposes"
[Channel 4 meeting room]
Cathy Newman: [chanting] ice ice ice
Jon Snow: ice ice ICE ICE
head of programming: [pounding clipboard] ICE ICE ICE
Cathy Newman: [chanting] ice ice ice
Jon Snow: ice ice ICE ICE
head of programming: [pounding clipboard] ICE ICE ICE
just picturing some poor ice sculptor's marriage breaking down as he's gone from a quiet life to having to constantly be on call because Channel 4 will simply not stop ordering last minute ice statues of junior ministers who've had to cancel their interviews
ok I think I maybe need to go to bed now