My son ran with something important and wouldn’t give it back even when I caught him. He got into a fit of rage when I took it back - I guess it was embarrassment because it happened in his friends’ presence.
So anyway, he started hitting and pinching me and I was so confused.

I realized that he’s embarrassed for whatever reason. He got increasingly angry even when I calmly reminded him this is not how we resolve conflict. My calmness was even more embarrassing and infuriating.
So I held him and squeezed him tight while he broke down and cried.

Now I’m holding him and he’s sad and still embarrassed and confused. Yho do you know what is high emotions and things going out of hand?
Eventually I ask him to inhale through his nose and exhale through his mouth. He eventually got it right after hyperventilating for a while.

The look on his face when the breathing helped him calm down? Totally worth the patience and yielding.
We could also have a short chat about it and he apologized. Felt confident enough to face his friends again.

Alexa, I think we came out of that encounter a little more trusting of each other.