I've been thinking about whether to share this or not. I decided I would, because there's a lesson in it. I was walking through town today and a woman sat down at a cafe table and parked her pram beside her. 1/?
Man, she looked tired. As I drew alongside her a stuffed toy flew out my side of the pram and the baby instantly wailed. I stepped back, picked up the toy and handed it across the pram to the mum. She took it said, "Thank you!" and her eyes welled up.
I was going to keep going, but something made me stop. "Are you okay?" I asked her. She fell apart, just started sobbing. I quickly sat beside her, said it was okay, can I help.
She cried a moment, I kept quiet, then she said, "I just couldn't face getting up again to go all the way around the pram to pick up her toy. When you handed it to me it was such a relief. Isn't that pathetic?"
I told her no way was that pathetic. I remember how tired a newborn makes you. Her daughter could only have been about 8 or 10 weeks old. Seriously, that first 3 months teaches you things about tiredness you never knew possible. It's brutal.
Anyway, I told her that, asked if the baby was her first. It was. We talked about how fucking hard it is, how you try to survive, don't want to seem lame. Nothing prepares you for it. She cried some more, I told her it would be okay. I told her it gets better.
I ended up showing her pics of my son, talked about how amazing it is, how it's always a challenge, but nothing compares to that first three months or so. It was nice. I think she felt a lot better afterwards.
The point is, that small act (picking up the toy) cost me nothing but meant the world to her. Stopping to ask if someone is okay can make a huge difference. That's the lesson. It costs nothing to be kind, but it can change the world in small but powerful ways. Be kind.
This has reminded me of another one too. I was in the supermarket with my son when he was 3 or 4. We were laughing and joking with the shopping cart. Then I saw a guy with a newborn on his shoulder, crying.
His partner was shopping, he was trying to settle the baby. He looked at me with those haunted zombie eyes only the parents of newborns know. I smiled at him, said, "It gets better, bro. So much better."
He filled up too, nodded once and turned away. I think he didn't want me to see him cry. Fair enough. Ten minutes or so later we passed each other in another aisle. He put a hand on my arm, said, "Thanks, man." I nodded and smiled. It's easy to be kind.
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