As we enter holiday season, some brief notes for hosts who care about inclusivity and welcomeness. A #thread.

/1

Some of your guests don't drink alcohol. This includes at the company party, your dinner party, your friends reunion gathering, really all those things. Your guest wants to hang out with you though, so here are some tips for valuing their friendship. /2

First: If you're hosting people and providing alcohol, make sure there's a festive not-alcoholic option as well.

/3

Second: Practice including your not-alcoholic drink options in the list of things you have on hand to offer so you can say something like "Hey can I get you a crazy obscure soda or a beer or wine or anything?" So that the not-alcoholic option is included and not guessed at.

/4

Third (and obvious): Do bat an eyelash when anyone goes for your not-alcoholic option. "Good natured" ribbing usually isn't helpful or nice, it turns your guest into someone who doesn't belong. Be hospital and appreciate your guest.

/5

Fourth: What someone is drinking or not drinking isn't as good a conversation as what someone has been doing with their time, what interesting music they've heard lately, what books they've read, other friends they've seen, places they've been.

/6

Fifth: Every now and then, when suggesting you meet up with a friend, instead of "Hey let's grab a drink" try "Hey let's get [coffee/tea/walk by cool thing]" and see how that goes. Definitely try this with good friends who never seem to find time to be able to "grab a drink"

/7

Do those things and you'll have more friends and likely more interesting conversations and things to think about.

There are many many reasons why someone doesn't want to drink. Here are a few of them:

/8

They're pregnant, they have a genuine drinking problem and are trying to change that while maintaining their current social relationships, they have a court-determined length of time during which they can't drink alcohol, their job requires sound judgement at all hours, ...

/9

their significant other has a drinking problem and in solidarity your friend doesn't want to come home smelling like alcohol, any number of traumas inflicted while inebriated or by someone who is inebriated, general social anxiety, not feeling like it, ...

/10

wanting to spend tomorrow morning being productive because that's their creative time, trying to lose weight, medical restriction such as diabetes or stomach issues etc, trying to save money, religious prohibition, just trying it out for a bit to see how it feels. Lots more.

/11

It's up to your guest if they want to talk about why they aren't drinking. It's up to you as the host to create a welcoming environment. If you observe the five things at the front of this thread then you'll be doing much better than most at being a welcoming host.

/fin

Addendum: Wondering how alcohol and inclusivity may intersect? Here's an enlightening thread on hosting events at bars which applies equally to all kinds of gatherings: https://twitter.com/EBakerMusic/status/1101541214766153728