Dreamt last night that I’m A Celebrity is scripted and filmed months in advance: Capricorn One style.

Set off by the notion of watching I’m a Celeb, then going to the pub and seeing Kate Garraway there.

“But if you’re here....”. The effort required to fake I’m a Celeb would surely far outstrip what it takes to make it. But...

You’d film it at night in the Eden Project. No one would ever suspect. Close part of it “for annual maintenance”.

The celebs are sworn to silence. None yet have blabbed. All of ITV’s comedy writers working on it all year round.

Stanley Kubrick filmed season one. Is now dead. Coincidence? Or something more sinister?

The bugs and critters are all CGI like in The Mummy.

It even explains the celebrity level of some of the contestants: they have to be prepared to spend a lifetime denying the truth, and some simply have too much integrity.

And Kiosk Keith? Saw him once on the Central Line. Nowhere near Earls Court.

Why does it have to be live? Ask yourselves that.

If this thread or any of the issues raised have affected you please get in touch. Looking for I'm A Celeb whistleblowers #jungletruther

Remember Brian Harvey from East 17 though there was a burger van off camera and was soundly mocked for it. What if he was telling the truth? And to think we laughed

Amongst their other duties King or Queen of the Jungle then has to ruthlessly enforce jungle omerta for the year of their reign

in an additional twist last year Holly Willoughby had no idea she was at the Eden project and remains convinced she was in Australia

ITV deliberately route the satellite signal from Cornwall twice around the world's satellites to fake a delay