So, I’m gonna be real for a minute here. This morning was really emotional for me and I just want to process some of what I was feeling and express my deep gratitude for this stupid website that brings us all together. This is gonna be a thread so buckle up.

Yesterday I responded to a tweet from someone who wanted to buy a guy a Christmas gift. I didn’t really think much about it and had already kinda forgotten about it by this morning. Here’s what I wrote: https://twitter.com/radtoria/status/1199228776996986885?s=21

When I checked twitter this morning, I was surprised to find several strangers, most who I’m sure don’t even follow me, expressing they wanted to help put a present under the tree for my son. I’m actually tearing up again just writing this.

This has been a really hard 6 months... year... ugh, life. Those of you who are closest to me know I’m going through a divorce and that money is extremely tight. I have a good place to live and am paying my bills on time but there isn’t any wiggle room for life’s lil emergencies.

Last month, my kid’s gaming console broke and I had to sell some things that carried sentimental value in order to replace it. It’s a weird position to be in. I feel like there are so many people who are way worse off than us. I’m grateful for what we have. But it’s so precarious

I live in constant fear of needing to go to the doctor or having my car break down. Before I met someone amazing who forces me to let him cook for me all the time, I often skipped meals because I was anxious about resources and looking to save money by any means possible.

This is really hard for me to write about because I grew up below the poverty line. Being poor was embarrassing as a child. When I got older, I was placed in foster care and never really had the support of a traditional family system - neither emotionally nor financially.

One of the reasons I wanted to write about my experience is that, despite being able to rationalize issues of equity and wealth disparity, I still feel an enormous amount of shame for being financially insecure.

And I want to help combat the stigmas and stereotypes that surround poverty and food insecurity in the United States. We are living in a system that makes it very difficult for those beginning the race further from the starting line to ever catch up.

So, if this resonates with you, remember that this is not your fault. The American Dream is a dangerous myth that diminishes the roles positionality and generational wealth play in one’s ability to get ahead in this world.

I also wanted to spend time writing about this to express the overwhelming amount of gratitude that’s been flooding my senses all day. I’ve been coming out of a year long period of activism burnout and kinda forgot that people can be pretty amazing when given the chance.

I’m so thankful for those who offered to lend a hand. I feel awkward accepting help when there are so many people who need it more than I do. But I also feel like it is dumb as hell for me to turn it down.

I work at the food resource center at my school and am always trying to convince my fellow students that the food bank is here for everyone. You’d think I’d have an easier time accepting people’s generosity but alas, I remain a dumb idiot lol but seriously THANK YOU SO MUCH

I’m gonna go snuggle the heck outta my kid and take some more time to process all this before responding to comments. I didn’t realize how much this would open up old wounds related to childhood poverty. Just know that I am seriously beaming with love and gratitude for you all.

I’m so grateful for everyone’s well wishes and support. My Venmo is radtoria69 but if you’d like to make an even bigger impact that still directly benefits our family, please donate to our local food bank: https://www.ballardfoodbank.org/overview-2