It's that time of year again... so I find it important to emphasize that everyone doesn't have family dynamics that are portrayed in Lifetime movies.

The holidays can be really hard. There's an expectation that people should want to spend time with their biological family. /1

But that's not the case for everyone. Some don't feel emotionally safe around toxic, boundary crossing, disrespectful family members. Others don't want to pretend to be happy while their sexual abuser sits at the other end of the dinner table. Guess what? That's their right! /2

So while some of us are excitedly traveling to visit biological family, others are making decisions to spend time with their CHOSEN FAMILY... the people they've met who make them feel safe + seen. Or they're limiting how much time they spend in certain environments. /3

Knowing someone isn't visiting family this season doesn't mean we have a right to question them. Statements like: "Well that's just how family is. You have to let it go" or "Why wouldnt you spend time with your family? It cant be THAT bad" are extremely unhelpful + hurtful. /4

It can come across as accusatory + places the responsibility of fixing the situation on someone who was harmed... that's not fair.

We are not owed a reason to "validate" someone's choice. /5

Our questions may not come from a malicious place... but it's important to remember that the holidays can be a sensitive time for people... let's be mindful in the way we address this time. /6 + FIN