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Feelings are not a wrong or bad thing to have, so don& #39;t deny their existence, whether they& #39;re positive or not. It& #39;s how you choose to act (or not act) on them in a hopefully-healthy manner that counts. https://twitter.com/CarolineMoss/status/1198748131556499456">https://twitter.com/CarolineM...
People who need this include:
- those grieving a loss (you can either cope with self-destructive things like binge drinking, or surround yourself with support + healthy activities)
- people attracted to others when taken (act on urges and cheat, vs stay committed + distance self)
- those grieving a loss (you can either cope with self-destructive things like binge drinking, or surround yourself with support + healthy activities)
- people attracted to others when taken (act on urges and cheat, vs stay committed + distance self)
I kinda want to expand on the 2nd example, since it& #39;s happened to me - getting cheated on, that is.
It& #39;s not a crime to find other people attractive, and being in a relationship doesn& #39;t make you immune to others. You do have every choice to enforce boundaries, though.
It& #39;s not a crime to find other people attractive, and being in a relationship doesn& #39;t make you immune to others. You do have every choice to enforce boundaries, though.
"You can& #39;t put logic on feelings" is only partially true - there is almost always an underlying reason for most feelings you encounter.
The hard part is to acknowledge that the feeling exists, and to figure out what caused it - but after that, figuring out how to cope is easier.
The hard part is to acknowledge that the feeling exists, and to figure out what caused it - but after that, figuring out how to cope is easier.
Admittedly awareness/mindfulness on this front is difficult to practice, especially if you weren& #39;t taught how to push pause and reflect on things.
But that& #39;s why therapy can be so useful, because it provides a space for you to practice this (with the help of a neutral 3rd party)
But that& #39;s why therapy can be so useful, because it provides a space for you to practice this (with the help of a neutral 3rd party)
Now a potentially controversial (but general) statement:
Typically, a lot of guys are actually NOT taught how to process emotion healthily. They don& #39;t get much discussion time on it either.
It goes hand in hand with bad takes like "man up", "crying is for sissies", etc etc...
Typically, a lot of guys are actually NOT taught how to process emotion healthily. They don& #39;t get much discussion time on it either.
It goes hand in hand with bad takes like "man up", "crying is for sissies", etc etc...
Not saying it& #39;s only exclusive to dudes, as generally this happens if you never had the opportunity for a safe, non-judgmental social space to process feelings.
So for whoever needs to hear this: your feelings are valid. Just think carefully before deciding what to do next :)
So for whoever needs to hear this: your feelings are valid. Just think carefully before deciding what to do next :)
"But Cazz, what if the feelings I have stem from unhealthy thoughts?"
The feeling itself is still valid - it alerts you that something is wrong. The next thing you do, however, is to challenge the thoughts you have (and there are many ways for this, I& #39;m no pro - but Google CBT)
The feeling itself is still valid - it alerts you that something is wrong. The next thing you do, however, is to challenge the thoughts you have (and there are many ways for this, I& #39;m no pro - but Google CBT)
In the process of challenging a bad thought (e.g. "nobody likes me") , some things can happen.
-You might discover that there is something you need to fix about yourself as a person ("it& #39;s not right for people to be mean to me too, but it& #39;s true I can be quite rude sometimes")
-You might discover that there is something you need to fix about yourself as a person ("it& #39;s not right for people to be mean to me too, but it& #39;s true I can be quite rude sometimes")
-You might find that you& #39;ve overlooked some good things, so you& #39;ve overexaggerated and it& #39;s a thought distortion ("it& #39;s only a handful of people who don& #39;t like me and those guys seem to hate everyone"/"hey people like me enough to invite me to things every week and we have fun")
Of course all of this is easier to do when you& #39;re not mentally overwhelmed, and sometimes you might need a bit of help (trusted friend/family member, therapist).
Plus this example is only one of many. But yeah, go look this up - it might help you!
Plus this example is only one of many. But yeah, go look this up - it might help you!
