So I have been thinking about this for a while now and I might as well make a thread out of it. Here is my controversial, privileged as fuck, take of the day:

I am not comfortable passing as a cis women.

Don't get me wrong, I have spent the last 2 years constantly thinking about how to pass better, how to make sure people just see a woman when they look at me. & the changes in my appearance have severely reduced my dysphoria & almost eliminated instances of being misgendered.

This has improved my life immensely, has given me more confidence than I had ever known before, allows me to move about the outside world in relative safety and protects me from all kinds of shit and discrimination and violence. I profit from this every day.

But then, whenever I am in spaces where I feel like everyone just reads me as a cis woman, I get incredibly uncomfortable. Cause just as I am decidedly not a man, I am also not a cis woman. And I don't want to be one either.

I am not the best approximation of cis womanhood I could muster. I am a complete, finished woman, as perfect as every other woman in my womanhood. I don't want to be anything else, I just want to be me. That's what this has always been about, hasn't it?

But obviously we live in a cissexist society, where the only way to consistently be treated as a woman, is to be treated as a cis woman. Where there is no space for other forms of womanhood. I absolutely love being in spaces that are different. In spaces for and by trans people.

Because that is the only space, where I ever get to be just myself. A woman, who is just as real, even if no one mistakes her for a cis woman. Where it isn't about passing as cis but just about being you and telling people what that means for you.

I know I am not alone with this and I also know that this "issue" is about as first world as trans issues can be. This is obviously not comparable to the problems we face when we are out there and we don't pass as cis. I am very thankful, that at this moment this is my problem.

But I wanted to hear from others. Do you have the same? How do you deal with it? Have you found ways to navigate this?

I want to be visible as a trans woman, cause I am fucking proud of being one. But I also enjoy not being dysphoric as much & not being misgendered all the time.

Oh, I should probably add that this is about my personal choice of how *I* want to live my life and who *I* am.

If you want to be 100% stealth & live your life passing as a cis person, I genuinely hope you can do that.

And obviously you can still be proud of being trans.

Something else to add I guess: I am NOT at a point where I could go stealth. I dont pass that well, not by a long shot.

I can do daily chores and stuff but when I'm having a conversation with people, they usually realize within the first 10 min or so. I know because I ask them.