An Open letter to @AmSurgCorp & The Livingston Surgery Center:
I was recently at the Livingston Surgery Center in Livingston, NJ for a minor procedure. I was treated fine while I was there, the surgery was easy, and we were basically in and out, no problem.

This letter is not about me nor my surgery. It is about compassion, human decency, and staff desensitized to people who might need assistance that is not simply medical.

When we arrived to sign in, my husband and I waited behind a young Latino family. What we were able to ascertain from the conversation we overheard was that the family was there for their young son. They were not native English speakers.

They had answered truthfully when asked if they had a car seat in their car. They did not. This is both illegal and unsafe, and, while I do understand the liability issue, the way that this young family was treated was appalling.

They were asked if someone could bring a car seat, They were told that the center would not release the boy to them if they could not prove there was a car seat in their car.

The manner of the staff was not one of compassion or concern, it was cold, bordering on frustration, the way one speaks to a child who is misbehaving. The implication was clear: if the child could not have their surgery today, that was the fault of the parents.

We signed in and sat down while the family waited by the desk for someone else to come speak to them. After a short while, a nurse came into the waiting room from the door to the recovery area. The inappropriate attitude of the staff and what we heard next made us both angry.

“You drove here without a car seat? Shame on you.”

Not, “how can we help,” not “let’s see what we can do,” not even an “I’m so sorry,” before stating that the policies don’t allow children to be released without a car seat in the car. Cold. Judging. Lacking compassion.

My husband and I agreed that we would give the booster seat in our car to the family, if the child fit the NJ state legal requirements for booster seats. I interrupted the staff speaking down to the family. I asked if the child needed a booster seat or a 5-point harness.

The women on staff looked surprised. My husband was already looking up the info on his phone. The boy was JUST over the lowest weight requirement for a booster. My husband said that he would get the booster from our car and give it to them right then. The staff was dubious.

They would need to see it first. I was still an hour from my scheduled surgery time, so my husband went to the car, got our booster, and handed it to the family. They were taken back immediately.

One of the staff members said something like “Thank god for the kindness of strangers,” but her tone was still full of judgement and tinged with warning.

All of this happened in front of an entire waiting room full of people.

I would like to know this: would the staff have treated us, two white, people in our early forties, any differently than they treated this young Latino family? If we were there with our kid and had said that we didn’t have a car seat, would we have been spoken down to, made to

feel bad and look bad in front of strangers? Would we have been shamed? Would we have been helped?

I find it appalling that a center dedicated to health and healing would not find any compassion for this family. I am sure that some measure of solution could have been found,

whether it was a call to the front desk to help find a car seat or a charitable organization to donate and bring one.

I shudder to think what might have happened if we were not there and in a position to help.

Would he have had his surgery? What if the surgery he was having was important to his continued health? Would the family have left in a car without a car seat, without having the surgery, and not come back because they were treated so badly?

What would have happened if this child became sicker? What if the worst had happened because he did not have this surgery, because the staff chose to make a spectacle of the family? Would that be on your collective company conscience?

Bedside manner is important. This extends to the front desk staff, the people who are the first to talk to the patients and their families.

I will be taking a collection of car seats and booster seats of various sizes and types to be delivered to your Livingston location in the unfortunate case that something like this happens again. This letter will be made public.

You are an organization designed to help people.

Shame on YOU.

(This letter was also emailed directly to the senior management at AMSURG and to the center leader at Livingston Surgery Center on Friday, 11/22. As of this tweet, neither group has responded.)

Wish list is here:
https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/1VM0S5H5DOPVO?ref_=wl_share

I will bring all of the donated car seats to the Livingston Surgery Center. In the event that they refuse the donations, I will find an appropriate charity that would benefit from the donation.