Thread: I too am on strike today, but uncharacteristically am not on the picket line. This is not a reflection of any lack of commitment to industrial action. On the contrary, it is testament to how deeply I think this strike is needed. I was too exhausted to go out today.

Some context, I’m a 34 y/o woman without dependants/caring responsibilities. I live alone but have a committed partner. I am a qualified barrister, have a PhD and an invisible disability. I am precariously employed and have never been shortlisted for a full time academic post.

The people I work with and immediately for are kind, supportive, reasonable humans who would never expect me to work myself into burn out. So how come I’m so tired? Because if I don’t work myself stupid I’ll never manage to find stability in the only thing I’m trained to do.

Forgive my possible hubris, but I’ve done everything right. I wrote my thesis in 3 years & passed without corrections. I’ve published in peer review journals. I have a book contract. I’ve done public engagement & piles of teaching despite only ever holding FT research contracts

Over the past few weeks not only have I worked and worked and worked, I have developed waking insomnia. 2 to 3 times a night I wake up having a panic attack. I’m not writing fast enough, not publishing enough, my lecture for next week isn’t finished, so many unanswered emails.

Every perceived failure has two painful prongs. One, I failed. Two, that failure could result in an inability to find work when my contract concludes. I’ve done everything right and it’s still not enough, I need to do more. I’d like to have a baby but how on earth do people do...

....this with a kid & how on earth will I be able to support it if I don’t get another job? So that’s why I’m on strike but not the picket line. Because I’m exhausted & need things to be better. Thanks to those who stand in solidarity, tomorrow I will stand in solidarity too.