There are really uncomfortable conversations going around writing Twitter right now. I'm going to touch on this sensitive content here: #pedophilia, #rape, and trauma in fanfic (and fiction).

tl;dr: A popular author's old fanfic has popped up. She wrote graphic child rape. #tw

There are basically two different schools of thought on this: People who are horrified and disgusted by its existence, and people who think it's okay as long as it's tagged. You may be some measure of both.

A lot of people are judging the author for her choices here. #tw

I write dark books, but not that kind of dark. I can't stand it. It's horrible to me. There is no appeal. I get NOTHING out of it except feeling awful.

Which is why I don't read it and stay far away from those corners of fandom.

Yet there are arguments in favor of its existence

In fandom, people argue that these kinds of darkfic are often ways for survivors to process their trauma. And it is nobody's place to tell survivors how to deal with that.

Additionally, people argue that because every character is fictional, there is zero harm inflicted.

Fandom is VERY serious about tagging content in fanfic. You can absolutely avoid these fics and never read them by accident.

People on Twitter have screencapped rape scenes and are posting them out of context, without tags.

I have never accidentally read a darkfic I knew I couldn't handle on AO3 or any other fanfic site. But this screencap came across my twitter and I read it without proper warning. I can't get it out of my head. It's horrible. The screenshot threw me into such a dark place.

I never would have seen it if not for the virtue signaling going around on Twitter.

And I'm torn, you see, because I really really really hate the content of the fic, but I also wouldn't have seen it in its natural habitat.

I am not going to judge the author for what she wrote. I also don't expect her to justify it. Is she working through trauma? I don't know. It's not her job to tell me.

Does the healing survivors may find worth the extremely graphic content that abusers are surely also enjoying?

I don't know.

I really don't.

It's a horrible dark place, these kinds of fanfic, and if they belong anywhere, it's behind a respectful, careful system of tagging where only people who are ready can find it...for whatever reason. And that's honestly what AO3 is.

It's normal to have a visceral reaction to finding this kind of thing. "Holy crap, an author I admire wrote something truly, truly disgusting that horrifies me to my bones. This is graphic child rape. This author is terrible."

Of course you're outraged and want to share.

But think about who will see what you're sharing. Think about how they're finding it.

If you're going to have this conversation, you have to be so goddamn careful, and posting screenshots is the opposite of careful.

Please don't do this.

I wish I could draw conclusions about the fanfic's right to exist and whether or not this author should be supported/vilified. But I don't. There is nothing good here, no matter how you look at it, except MAYBE some people have found a tiny measure of catharsis...

And I'm not going to get in the way of that. I don't want anything to do with this, frankly.

Please don't retweet it into my timeline. It's getting around enough that I am going to start muting folks.