I know a lot of marraiges won't last simply because both people go in with their own agenda, no coherence of purpose anywhere. Also, a lot of people will put more energy and planning into having a talk of the town wedding than they'll put into marraige itself.

Any society that's not functioning properly, if you look closely at it, you'll find out that what's going on in the aggregate of the families in it is what is reflecting on the society itself at large. An effective way to destroy a nation is to destroy family values.

These days all you hear is the talk of, if you're unhappy even for one second, walk away.

A marraige shouldn't take work, it is meant to be enjoyed at all times at all moments.

Its better to walk away for your own selfish issues than to work through a faulty marraige.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying all marraige should be endured. Marraige should be a source of love and support and sometimes it doesn't turn out that way, people are abused physically and emotionally instead to the point of the abuse exceeding the bearable.

But we have to understand this. A successful marraige is an accomplishment, not just for the people in it but for the society at large. It is a responsibility we owe to ourselves and our society to put as much work as needed into it to make it work. Why?

We like to think of sanity as something each of us carry around internally and own exclusive of everyone else and to an extent, that is true. But also, sanity is a function of the family. They are the ones that ensure we are well socialized, functional members of the society.

They check us, they let us know when our behaviour is unacceptable, when we're doing the wrong things. They hold up the mirror with which we examine ourselves. They "raise us in the path we should go".

And to a great extent, the cumulative effect of well socialized

children coming out of good, well balanced society is what makes societies good.

We can see now, that the job of nation building starts with nurturing good marriages that brings about well socialized children. Because families are like distributed marketplaces for sanity.

Pair bonding (marraige) is a common strategy in the animal kingdom overral. It facilitates the long term relationships that are fundamental to raising children stably and to socialize them properly in the long term which brings about a more stable society.

Pair bonding in marriage provides a platform for two people to work out their personal issues as a unit through dialogue, negotiation and conflict, yes, conflict! Also two of you are going to face the madness of life together which makes it a bit more bearable.

Intimate relationships give us the narrative of our lives, it provides you with a companion who knows who you are, it helps you stay sane because you have someone who acts as the shock absorber for the pot holes life throws at you, a stable environment for raising children,

it is the minimal necessary social structure that other structures can be built upon.

And just to bring a little bit of facts in.

75% of people polled in a Pew Research Center research in the USA say the most fulfilling part of thier lives is their intimate relationships.

We don't have the data for Nigeria but even people who are raised in environments more volatile for marraige claim that's the most essential part of their lives.

Anything that'll come good requires work, dedication, sacrifice and negotiation. You are two separate people

you'll have different needs and opinions about different things. Which is why communication and negotiation should be paramount. Always leave the communication channels open.

If you're married or got married recently. I wish you all the best.

You owe us a better society. Stay in that marraige and make it work, for the good of all of us.

Thank you. We'll be grateful.

Also, don't let the internet raise your kids, very important!