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It's November cold out.
The sky is gray and spitting light rain.
The darkness comes earlier each night and everything around us is dead.
And there's my 13 year old son,
lifting iron in the street.
We coulda cancelled today.
Instead, the boy wanted to squat.
#ProudDad
The sky is gray and spitting light rain.
The darkness comes earlier each night and everything around us is dead.
And there's my 13 year old son,
lifting iron in the street.
We coulda cancelled today.
Instead, the boy wanted to squat.
#ProudDad
My son bugged me for a couple weeks to buy an Olympic Bar.
He insisted.
He was ready to get strong.
His actions have caused a few changes, some expected, some not.
We expected him to get stronger and tougher.
We didn't expect this to change his relationship with his mom, tho
He insisted.
He was ready to get strong.
His actions have caused a few changes, some expected, some not.
We expected him to get stronger and tougher.
We didn't expect this to change his relationship with his mom, tho
My son and I don't see each other as often as we'd like.
Lifting weights together gives us reason to get together.
We're lifting three times a week.
Some weeks he's not with me three times.
So I load the car up and drive the weights to him even on our off nights.
Lifting weights together gives us reason to get together.
We're lifting three times a week.
Some weeks he's not with me three times.
So I load the car up and drive the weights to him even on our off nights.
Mom, to say the least, does not like him lifting weights. She does not like him lifting weights with me. And she definitely doesn't like me coming there to lift in the street.
She's always discouraging him -
'you'll stunt your growth'
'you'll get hurt'
'why does he drive here?'
She's always discouraging him -
'you'll stunt your growth'
'you'll get hurt'
'why does he drive here?'
One day my son responded with the truth - "dad comes to see me because he doesn't get enough time with me."
Mom replied with something really nasty I won't share.
Suffice to say, my son finally saw what I'd been fighting for 13 years.
He now knows she is keeping him from me.
Mom replied with something really nasty I won't share.
Suffice to say, my son finally saw what I'd been fighting for 13 years.
He now knows she is keeping him from me.
When a kid learns their parents are simply human, it hurts.
The perfection myth ends.
But when a kid learns their parents can be so flawed they're destructive...to the kid - it hurts even more.
I knew this day would come.
I never looked forward to it.
Now it's here.
The perfection myth ends.
But when a kid learns their parents can be so flawed they're destructive...to the kid - it hurts even more.
I knew this day would come.
I never looked forward to it.
Now it's here.
This happened right before I picked him to lift one day.
He was crying.
He wanted to skip lifting and say fuck it.
But I told him this was EXACTLY why we lift.
When we lift, we can turn negative energy into positive.
We build with it.
We grow from it.
And we feel better.
He was crying.
He wanted to skip lifting and say fuck it.
But I told him this was EXACTLY why we lift.
When we lift, we can turn negative energy into positive.
We build with it.
We grow from it.
And we feel better.
He had a choice:
He could give in to the negative pressure from his mother, let her ruin his efforts, and give up.
Or
He could lift that damn weight, get stronger, get tougher, feel better, + stand strong against the pain.
He calmed down + made his decision.
And we lifted.
He could give in to the negative pressure from his mother, let her ruin his efforts, and give up.
Or
He could lift that damn weight, get stronger, get tougher, feel better, + stand strong against the pain.
He calmed down + made his decision.
And we lifted.
Our lifting journey provided a real learning opportunity right off the bat.
Lifting can help with so many parts of your life.
And now my son knows first hand what they are.
You get stronger, you get better at controlling your emotions, and you can manage stress and anxiety.
Lifting can help with so many parts of your life.
And now my son knows first hand what they are.
You get stronger, you get better at controlling your emotions, and you can manage stress and anxiety.
And now he also experienced a metaphor of sorts for his coming maturation into adulthood.
As his strength grows, he'll need to find his own way and stand for what he wants.
Bc of that his relationship to people and the world will change.
Some will react warmly, others not so.
As his strength grows, he'll need to find his own way and stand for what he wants.
Bc of that his relationship to people and the world will change.
Some will react warmly, others not so.
For me, my son is an inspiration.
18 sessions in and he hasn't missed a single one.
We lift in the rain, in the cold, in the dark.
He faces resistance from the iron and his mom, yet he persists.
I have to match his commitment, and I'm proud to do it.
I'm honored really.
18 sessions in and he hasn't missed a single one.
We lift in the rain, in the cold, in the dark.
He faces resistance from the iron and his mom, yet he persists.
I have to match his commitment, and I'm proud to do it.
I'm honored really.
It's been a long road since I wrote this essay about my divorce and its impact on the kids.
We have fought every year to spend more time together.
We create opportunities.
We make commitments.
And we stick to them and each other.
It's a blessing. https://jackmurphylive.com/the-calculus-of-divorce-and-how-to-convert-pain-to-progress/
We have fought every year to spend more time together.
We create opportunities.
We make commitments.
And we stick to them and each other.
It's a blessing. https://jackmurphylive.com/the-calculus-of-divorce-and-how-to-convert-pain-to-progress/
As an aside - the boy is crushing the weights too.
He is very focused on form, breathing, and control.
5x5 squat, OHP, row, DL
He just did 100 lbs 5x5 back squat. Started with 45 lbs last month.
He was so pumped up afterwards.
Our bench arrived. Squat rack comes soon!
He is very focused on form, breathing, and control.
5x5 squat, OHP, row, DL
He just did 100 lbs 5x5 back squat. Started with 45 lbs last month.
He was so pumped up afterwards.
Our bench arrived. Squat rack comes soon!
My mom bought him Starting Strength and a rogue squat rack for his birthday.
I gave him a set of Rogue fractional bumper plates.
He bought himself a journal and takes notes each session.
He’s taken control of his life in this regard and I’m so very proud.
I gave him a set of Rogue fractional bumper plates.
He bought himself a journal and takes notes each session.
He’s taken control of his life in this regard and I’m so very proud.
Since this thread some great things have happened.
The boy has put another 60 lbs on his squat.
And now our entire family gathers around ye ole rogue squat rack to push the iron and get swole - daughter and @The_Red_Hen included!
Fitness is a focus of our family life.
Love.
The boy has put another 60 lbs on his squat.
And now our entire family gathers around ye ole rogue squat rack to push the iron and get swole - daughter and @The_Red_Hen included!
Fitness is a focus of our family life.
Love.
