In light of all the #MeToo exposes that have exposed both predators and their supporters, something important I need to get off my chest:

The first is that I will always, always believe survivors and give accusers the benefit of the doubt. Always. It's 1000x more likely someone has been victimized than it is that they are fabricating a story.

However, as a SA/CSA survivor myself, one who is still processing a recent event at that, I want to try to explain how difficult it is to find catharsis in the #MeToo movement.

Keep in mind most sexual assaults are committed by someone the victim knows/trusts. I know we don't REALLY know public figures, but we spend years with them in our lives and it starts to feel like they're someone we can trust. Flawed thinking, but true nevertheless.

So when someone you really like/admire is accused or supports someone who's accused, it's a strange process. Speaking for myself, you already struggle with "I should have known" thoughts every day. There's an element of self-blame even when you're just a bystander.

I've never not criticized someone for their public support of an accused predator. Never. But what I'd also like people to understand is that survivors do not owe you hot takes on every single accusation that comes up. It's fucking traumatic.

Again, I've always spoken up, but I've been criticized for not doing so loudly enough at times and I just want to point out that there's a process so many of us have to go through to get to the point where we even want to talk about this issue over and over again.

This is especially important when talking about celebrities. When someone you really like makes a mistake that touches upon your experiences, the reaction is very "........oh." You want to let people be human but you're also cycling through your own emotions. It's rough.

All this to say that while it's never okay to publicly support the accused, it's also never okay to demand responses from victims. And if you don't know someone is a victim, that's okay....but statistically speaking, it's incredibly likely.

Bottom line: while we owe each other support and the respect of allowing victims room to be heard, no one EVER owes you a constant cycling-through of their own personal trauma to prove they care. I certainly owe no one any reactions on this subject whatsoever.

And that's it. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk. These are sensitive times, thank you in advance for shows of sensitivity to accommodate <3