i absolutely understand that some people dislike the phrasing "i lived as a woman/man" (i'd never automatically use it for someone else) but i gotta admit that i personally have a really hard time letting go of my lived experience pre-transition

i was perceived as a girl for 22 years and i don't really want to let go of that. i think it's got something to do w not being able to "forget" or downplay my experiences with sexism and sexual assault

recently there's been a bit of tension in trans spaces where i live, where cis and trans women don't think that trans masc people/trans men should be a core part of the feminist movement

this has hurt me deeply on multiple occasions and i think that it's a huge mistake

questioning our place in feminism feels like a kick in the face tbh. i understand that the trans women in question perceive themselves as always having been women and i respect that. however, i feel like i kinda used to be one too

sexist presumptions, sexualisation of my body, snide remarks, underestimation of my skills, moral and physical sexual assault: i can't delete these things from my past. yeah, sure, now i know i wasn't a woman. but it sure as hell felt like it for two decades of my life

so yeah, just a heads up: some trans masc people have a v painful history with sexist oppression. pls remember this, and understand why we sometimes don't perceive our lives pre-transition in the same way

oppression shapes us. i can't forget growing up "as a girl" and i don't really want to.. it did feel like i was a girl. i couldn't just feel like "i didn't have a gender" back then, bc society constantly reminded me what my place was

even when u don't connect deeply with the girl identity, society makes damn well sure that you know that it sees u as one, and treats you accordingly

we live in a society where ppl who are perceived as women can't really escape being thrust into the girl box. i didn't have the opportunity or time to "feel" like i wasn't a girl. i probably would have if sexism wasn't a thing

trans solidarity is also understanding and acknowledging our different lived experiences and making sure that they are all welcome in the broader trans narrative

22 yrs of being perceived as a woman is a lot and i personally cannot let go of this core part of my identity, my politics, my activism and my life

(this thread is specifically about my trans masc experience and i am in *no way* implying otherwise. please do not use my words to justify any kind of "reverse gotcha" about trans women and their pre-transition experiences. that is not what i'm commenting on here)