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Last week, I was part of a panel discussion about free speech in Australia today. The talk touched on a range of issues - 18c, press freedom and #metoo 
. It was a nice audience of about 50 people at a public library. When questions came, a 10ish-year-old boy stuck up his hand.
. It was a nice audience of about 50 people at a public library. When questions came, a 10ish-year-old boy stuck up his hand.
"What's sexual assault?" he asked. Which, in the context of a wide-ranging conversation about #metoo and the #letherspeak campaign, was a perfectly reasonable thing to ask. The audience audibly gasped, then silence.
and the #letherspeak campaign, was a perfectly reasonable thing to ask. The audience audibly gasped, then silence.
His mother went to mouth an apology and the microphone was ushered to the next questioner.
Imagine being that kid. Summing up the courage to actually ask a question to an adult audience about something you don't understand, and suddenly getting non-verbal feedback that you'd done the wrong thing and not knowing why or what.
After what felt like a fair bit of awkward silence, I realised this kid deserved better. I pointed out that there was nothing wrong with his question and that it was a brave thing to ask about. I told him the topic makes adults uncomfortable, which is why people panicked.
Of course, it's not my place to explain sexual assault to him - and I told him that he needed someone who knew him better and who he trusted to have that chat (his mum was there, and they would have chatted later) but that he shouldn't be ashamed for asking.
I know this seems like I'm patting myself on the back, but I'm sharing this because I think it matters SO MUCH how we respond - or fail to respond - to hard questions from children and young people. It's easy to sweep past them, but that's leaving them completely alone.
And I reckon they *know* they're being neglected, which makes them feel even more confused and isolated. So step up, blunder through it or - at the very least - tell them it's a fair question for them to ask and you're not sure how to answer it - but you'll get back to them.
