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I just realized it's officially been over a year since the last time I was in the hospital and almost died
Woo, one year without hospitalizations! *waves very depressing flag*
Woo, one year without hospitalizations! *waves very depressing flag*
No, just kidding, it's an amazing flag of sparkles and glitter. Because I'm focusing on the year out of a hospital bed, not the two weeks I spent in hospitals last year.
For those keeping score, one week was in a mental hospital because it's difficult to distinguish "I keep thinking I want to be dead" from "I want to kill myself" (I was the former, not the latter) - a fine but critical distinction
The second week was the blood fountain week
The second week was the blood fountain week
Weirdly, though I was at no risk of dying in the mental hospital thing, that was way more traumatic than my dramatically bleeding ulcer. The ulcer was a physical trial, but mental hospital meant not seeing my sons' faces for a week, and oh boy that messed me up.
THAT SAID, if there is anything more miserable than being connected to so many IVs constantly, needing nurses to take you to the bathroom, dragging an IV pole everywhere, having a bed alarm to hold you in one place, while sharing rooms with weeping elderly...I don't wanna do it.
My plan is to be very healthy for the rest of my life, and then die at 112 years old (I'm planning to see the year 2100) because I saved an entire litter of puppies from a villain hijacking my flight then fell out of the airplane and died instantly.
(My husband will be a very sexy and sprightly 113 years old, and welcome to die any time after I do)
(probably saving kittens, knowing him. UGH, what a CAT PERSON)
(haha we'd be having the creakiest old people sex at 112 and 113. still hot tho. we're going to be billionaires off the geriatric porn site we started back in the roaring 2080s.)
(no YOU had a little too much cannabis)
Well, this tweet thread went places. My work is done here. *wipes hands clean*
