When I was little, but just old enough to know that "see oh too" was causing "global warming", I would purposely try to hold my breath for as long as I could so that I wasn& #39;t making everything worse. I was scared to breathe while Exxon was happily lying to suppress science.
When I said my prayers at night, I would ask God to "take away all the bad carbon", but little did I know then that we didn& #39;t just need to be taking carbon out the air, we needed to be leaving in the ground too.
When I was old enough to learn that Bangladesh was suffering terrible floods because of climate change, I thought that finally, we& #39;d have to do something. But no, because profit was more important to my government than people in another country.
I kick myself sometimes, for not being angry about this sooner. I thought that it was wrong to be angry. I thought that "youth" was synonymous with "bad" and that my voice was both unwanted and embarrassing. Mostly, I thought I could trust adults.
My school spent years making us plan for our futures. They would ask us, "where do you want to be at 25?"
I used to answer with my desired location on a career path.
I& #39;m 21 now. In 4 years, I want to be on a planet with some hope. Not politicians& #39; hope, but real hope
My school never told us that our futures would be full of 2004& #39;s plastic. They never told us that we& #39;d have to pay for breathable air. They never told us that we& #39;d live through a mass extinction, or that the areas we& #39;d grown up in would be impossible to visit unless we scuba dive
They taught me that grades and university were the two most important things I had to focus on. In a way, I& #39;m angry, because I spent so long worrying that I would ruin my future if I didn& #39;t get all A* and A that I didn& #39;t really enjoy my life
I& #39;m angry because I lost some of the best years of my life panicking about a future I don& #39;t even care about anymore. My old dreams feel like a fantasy. I wasted all that time and I don& #39;t know if any child on earth will ever get to experience such a safe period of time as I wasted
Where do I want to be when I& #39;m 1/4 century old?
I want to be on a livable planet
I want to live, and I want to see others living around me. I want to really live, not just survive one day after another.
But more than wanting this, I need this. We all need this.
I realised I couldn& #39;t trust the adults in power, which was hard, because it meant accepting that the future I had so carefully planned out and had worked so hard for was meaningless compared to what really matters.
What I realised on 20/09 was that there was no-one I could trust more than the people alongside me on the streets. I could trust that, for the first time ever, I was good enough for a future.
A*s won& #39;t keep me safe. Acting on the climate crisis will.
29/11/19. Please be there.
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