Read on Twitter
Personal thread:
I despise the narrative that sexual abuse turns women gay, as if being abused makes dating women easy.
It does not, at all. In fact abuse only complicates dating much more;
For me it made it hard to trust myself w/ women bc of fear of being vulnerable & used.
I despise the narrative that sexual abuse turns women gay, as if being abused makes dating women easy.
It does not, at all. In fact abuse only complicates dating much more;
For me it made it hard to trust myself w/ women bc of fear of being vulnerable & used.
As a survivor you build certain barriers & boundaries to protect yourself from being abused again.
Sex & intimacy w/ another person usually means stripping those away, which can be emotional & even feel humiliating for many women, including lesbians. We are no different.
Sex & intimacy w/ another person usually means stripping those away, which can be emotional & even feel humiliating for many women, including lesbians. We are no different.
Or one can feel unmoved, but highly uncomfortable.
During my 1st time w/ a woman, the 1st thing I noticed was I didn't like being touched; she wasn't rough or forceful, yet still I felt uncomfortable & emotionally overwhelmed. I was confused as to why, bc I liked her a lot.
During my 1st time w/ a woman, the 1st thing I noticed was I didn't like being touched; she wasn't rough or forceful, yet still I felt uncomfortable & emotionally overwhelmed. I was confused as to why, bc I liked her a lot.
I've learnt there are quite a lot of lesbians & gays who've had similar exp. w/ sex after abuse, & I had just underestimated the extent to which it still affected me, even yrs later.
It made the process of building trust & a level of comfort w/ her longer than it shld have been.
It made the process of building trust & a level of comfort w/ her longer than it shld have been.
Just like survivors who are str8, lesbian survivors also have things to work thru before we can enjoy being intimate w/ a partner.
Dating women wld w/o a doubt be 100xs easier had I NOT been abused.
Dating women wld w/o a doubt be 100xs easier had I NOT been abused.
I believe this stereotype is largely built off of:
1)general insensitivity;
2)an unwillingness to listen & empathize w/ lesbians about our exps.;
3)A desire to illegitimize our r'ships w/ women bc of bitterness at the fact that we are women who aren't attracted to men.
1)general insensitivity;
2)an unwillingness to listen & empathize w/ lesbians about our exps.;
3)A desire to illegitimize our r'ships w/ women bc of bitterness at the fact that we are women who aren't attracted to men.
