CW Death

I have to say this multiple times a semester, which is frankly disturbing, but DO NOT ask a student for an obituary as proof their loved one has died.

First of all, obits are EXPENSIVE. My grandma's very short one cost several hundred dollars and this was:

A. Years ago and
B. In not that large (circulation wise) of a newspaper

I have seen syllabi with the requirement for obits as proof if death AND that the student be named in the obituary.

What if your BFF dies? Or your mentor or (insert other loved one here)?

Chances are a lot of important people in a person's life will not be named in obit.

And maybe like evaluate why you feel the need to make students relive their trauma over and over (even more so if the loved one in question died in a particularly violent way) so that you can feel in control?

And honestly if you feel like an obit as proof policy is necessary because students lie?

Do us all favor and retire.

People do not owe you their traumas in exchange for being treated with kindness, grace, and dignity.

A lot of y'all need to learn that.

Also, I am very tired of the another grandparent died jokes. Students have multiple grandparents, step grandparents, etc.

Unfortunately, college and graduate school time is when a lot of them pass away.

One more thing, that I debated writing in the thread earlier but didn't...

Sometimes students say that someone died because that is easier/a more socially acceptable thing to grieve than the myriad of other awful things students are experiencing.

Just be kind and make it clear you are there to help and support students.