OMG.

Yes, I'm a minimalist, and I really think it comes from my father, who used to throw away the things I liked. I learned to not acknowledge what I do like, and to not display favorite things, even pictures.

For the first time in my life, I have hung four pics on my walls. https://twitter.com/NoContactSurviv/status/1192420953256529921

Then, this past year, we had an old friend from my migrant worker days come and stay with us.

She always has drama and no lasting friendships, but as a disowned person from my family, I don't consider not having a relationship with birth family to be that terrible of a fault.

I get it. Sometimes we aren't responsible for shit that other people do.

Like, their inter and trans phobias aren't my fault, even if they became my problem, is what I mean.

Anyway. SHE FUCKING DESTROYED SO MUCH OF MY HOUSE AND LIFE

Now I'm unraveling trauma I hadn't recognized as trauma (the whole don't acknowledge I even like something, much less display it issue), and trying to repair all sorts of shit all around me

AND SHE'S BEEN GONE FOR MONTHS

I'm still discovering things she stole.

The most recent is Christmas movies.

She knows how much I love Christmas, so that was one way to hurt me.

But this is how narcissists work! They hurt you in these ways that make others go "that's not a big deal, why are you upset?"

And then it makes us doubt whether or not we have the "right" to be upset over what someone said to us, did to us, or took from us.

Then, because we're waffling, we don't say anything... so they do it again. And again. And again. And...

Sorry to rant like this.

I'm coming to terms still with the fact that she stole some of the few possessions I kept... because I don't keep much, even with my roommate encouraging me to get a few knickknacks and put them out.

The ONE thing I bought for myself when I was in

England this year? First time I ever left the country. I bought myself one thing. It was a little figurine of Robin Hood from my day in Sherwood Forest. Everything else was a gift for others.

But it's gone.

Movies. That one figurine. Little thing, cost maybe £5. Medicines

She took all of my nebulizer medicine. She stole my roommate's blood test kit and I had to run buy her another before we could have dinner that night N moved out.

Gotta know where your blood sugar is for insulin...

Mean, stupid, obnoxious shit. That you can't "prove".

But yes,

This is why people who have suffered under the abuse of a narcissist don't keep things (or people, for some).

We are all too aware of how possessions can be weaponized and manipulated against us.