On the train and this sign has suggested I tell @ScotRail everting about my experience today, so here follows a rolling commentary on the journey...

Prior to boarding, I got v excited when I came upon these ‘deep ridged tasty paprika crisps’ in WHSmiths which I’ve not had for a while, so I bought ‘em, headed to the platform, got on the train, sat down, took my coat off (so as to feel the benefit later), and opened them up...

...only to realise they’re probably not very commuter friendly (woah, paprika! ). Oh well *crunch, crunch*

When the ticket man saw my ticket, he said thanks and gave me a thumbs up which was friendly of him.

(Have just realised I wrote ‘everting’ up in that first tweet, not everything, undermining this whole endeavour. But carry on I will...)

Just saw a swan from the train window - it was floating on what looked like a very cold river, and then stuck it’s head under the water. Happy to be a human and not a swan as I imagine it has a very cold bottom.

Would also be tricky not to have hands and only quacking and hissing on hand (so to speak) to communicate.

Swan is long behind us now - sun is starting to dip and cast a lovely light on the tops of houses. A little boy in red down on the street just waved at the train.

Girl in the seat to the left from me is eating a packet of Doritos which are pungent and noisy but I have no moral high ground to stand upon so: cheers, travelling friend. Eat up.

(My crisps are now done - I snaffled them down to minimise the smell and now feel a little sick.)

(Now she’s eating a banana.)

Goodness, I think we just passed a (ruined?) castle of some sort. Scotland is cool.

Sun is gone now and it’s turned very cloudy. Sad - as just a few minutes ago there was a lovely golden light that turned the M&S carrier bag in front of me into something lovely.

Q: How do you know you’re going to Edinburgh?

A: the voice-over lady is posher than the one on the regular trains...

Got a bit chilly so have put the coat over my legs in a blankety way. Wondering if other people take their coats off on trains... the whole ‘take that off so you’ll feel the benefit when you go outside’ thing is passed down wisdom from my great-gran -> grannie -> mum -> me

Have surreptitiously looked over my shoulder at other passengers and they all seem to have coats on.

Well, all I can say is: they might be warm now, but they won’t feel the benefit.... etc etc.

Just passed a glassy lake that appeared, like a dream, behind thick trees and: three more swans. This journey shall hereby be known as: The Journey of the Swan (and the Paprika Crisp Dust).

Light is dimming outside, casting everything in a grey blue tinge. Tried to take a picture of how quietly pretty it is, but the window is too reflectiony (see pictured, though, the reflection of the aforementioned M&S bag).

Banana eating stranger-friend is now resting her head on the table in front of her... like Winnie the Pooh, having eaten all the honey, deciding a nap is the best plan.

Hoping this is the case and she hasn’t passed out.

(She just moved, all is well.)

Not sure how ‘everything’ @ScotRail is hoping for. Should I say: I have @maggierogers new song Love You For a Long Time in my head? That I just licked my lip? That I can see pinpricks of white & red car head/break-lights on the roads beyond the fields we’re currently passing?

Something so beautiful and strangely moving about those little dots of light moving —HORSE!! I just saw a horse! TWO horses! THREE horses. A spotted cow.

All the animals

Entering the city. Passing houses again now at close proximity - the green lights of ASDA glowing out in the night, graffiti on a wall, reflections of streetlights on the damp pavement, a cat looking out the window of a ground-floor flat (a little black smudge on its nose)...

Nasaly voice of the bald man with an earring coming into my awareness as he chats to his friend in the seat across from me.

I hope he has a hat with him

(When I looked for a hat emoji this came up: . I very much hope he has THAT kind of hat.)

Approaching last stop. Coat back on. Twinkly lights of Christmas market from the window. Baldy man gets off without hat. Banana-Dorito girl has presumably woken up and got off the train but I am looking at my phone so don’t see her leave...

I pick up my M&S bag (filled with gingerbread for a friend), pull on my backpack, put my own hat over my ears, and away I go... into the night.

Not sure if this was suitably thorough enough, @scotrail, but I tried my best. Have a good night

(*the ‘enough’ is a bit redundant there, lol, but was typing and trying not to walk into people.)