it's really telling that many "hopeful" adoptive parents give up so quickly upon hearing all this stuff, but ppl think it's scaring them away. nah, they just proved that they were never fully onboard and that adopted children aren't worth the required effort :/

don't get me wrong, do Not adopt if you know you're not equipped. but this reluctance and refusal to learn in the long run, is evidence that adoption propaganda is severely far from reality and the main cause for the lack of preparation on all angles. just pretext for abuse

people are scared because they weren't being informed appropriately in the first place. they were fed marketing bribes. you will obviously get disillusioned once you confront an adoptee's reality. congrats that's 1/3rd of how we feel when WE confront our it

i assure you that accusing adoptees for children not getting adopted is comical and disingenuous like we have any power over what cute traits strangers look for in traumatized kids. you're only teaching that it'll be their fault if their new APs dislike them at any point

they'll see in the way that you treat other adoptees, that the worst they could possibly do that could change your mind about what they deserve, is expressing any non-positive human emotion, thought, or any crave/need whatsoever

don't complain, or you'll get un-adopted. don't complain or kids won't get adopted. don't complain because you could be in a worse situation and i wouldn't have taken you out of it. don't complain because i could make that worse still happen, and it'll be your fault

i think that's something that highlights how safe we feel in our environment. that we were removed from a "horrible" place, but that it can EASILY be reversed. we are constantly reminded that it can be undone. that we can be sent back there if we misbehave

and no one can refute this because my amom once asked me if ~i preferred~ that SHE had left me at an orphanage. she made it sound like that was EVER under my jurisdiction, as if what i preferred was ever considered, but ? SHE had the power to leave me so it resonates as a threat

this threat is almost every APs instant response to mere venting about one's emotions, it's inappropriate and out of proportion. you're the damn adult, why you threatening a child to shut up or rot