I want to write a bit about the changes in sexual attraction I have experienced during my transition.
Before transitioning, I identified as a lesbian since the age of 14. It was hard for me to let go this identity when I started physically transitioning at the age of 16. /1

But my body dysphoria was too strong, I had to take testosterone and leave my lesbian self behind.
Suddenly I started feeling attracted to men for the first time in my life. I was in admiration of their bodies. I wanted them to be attracted to me. /2

I completely lost interest in women. As I realised later, my disgust for female parts on my own body slowly shifted to other women's bodies. I even remember thinking that some of my lesbian friends would look so much better as men. /3

I struggled to understand why I never got romantically involved with any of the men I had sex with. Then I met my current partner, who was a trans guy at the time, and I stopped thinking about it much. We were gay and that was fine. She is now detransitioning as well. /4

Now it's cristal clear to me that this shift in sexuality was all a result of deeply internalised misogyny. I never stopped being a lesbian. /5

It makes me mad now that I realise how I was manipulated into thinking that only masculine features are attractive and valueable, that I would only be worth something through the eyes of men. /6

Detransitioning is also a way for me to recover from this and develop healthy relationships with women again. I am learning the value of femaleness, on myself and on other women. /7

On the transmasculine groups I am still following I see so much of this internalised misogyny and lesbophobia. Everything female needs to be erased. Everything male or masculine is celebrated. /8

I see a lot of other trans guys 'turning gay' while transitioning, and I am pretty sure that it's not simply about allowing yourself to discover new attractions, but that misogyny and hegemonic masculinity actually play a big role in these shifts. /9