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One hard thing about having ADHD (especially undiagnosed into adulthood) is that sometimes you learn & internalize deeply that you are the kind of person who fucks ul.
Who flakes. Who forgets something.
Who disappoints people.
Who flakes. Who forgets something.
Who disappoints people.
Having this as your vision of yourself can deeply impact how you engage with people. Maybe you overcompensate with productivity whenever possible. Or perfectionism.
You try to take up very little of other people's time or energy as possible... Because the other shoe WILL drop.
You try to take up very little of other people's time or energy as possible... Because the other shoe WILL drop.
There's a deep drive to make yourself as useful and likeable and in general not a PITA as possible so when the inevitable day comes that you deeply disappoint someone, maybe they won't throw you away.
It's been 24 years since I had a major crash-out. The kind where I fuck something up and am afraid to tell anyone and let it spiral out on me.
24 damn years. Half my life.
But this is still the vision I have of myself, because it goes that deep.
24 damn years. Half my life.
But this is still the vision I have of myself, because it goes that deep.
If you are someone who feels like that, it is worth challenging the thoughts when they come. It's very easy to tell yourself a story about who you are & never let it change even if you do.
And it turns out we actually are allowed to mess up & people still love us, too.
And it turns out we actually are allowed to mess up & people still love us, too.
Wait I just did really bad math in this thread, 24 years is not half my life ago WHAT IS HAPPENING. 
It was 15 years ago and that's also not half my life.
It's been zero seconds since I tweeted something incoherent please still love me.
It was 15 years ago and that's also not half my life.
It's been zero seconds since I tweeted something incoherent please still love me.
Honestly tho who knows how old they are or how many years it has been since 2004.
A lot of parents of ADHD kiddos have replied to this glad they can be aware of it, so I wanted to add one more thought.
If there was one life skill I could go back in time and teach Baby Bree, it would be: don't let shame turn small mistakes into big mistakes.
If there was one life skill I could go back in time and teach Baby Bree, it would be: don't let shame turn small mistakes into big mistakes.
So many of the worst life crash outs I have experienced started small. And if I'd told someone that I'd goofed, they could have been managed. But every day I didn't tell someone, it got harder to tell anyone b/c the shame grows.
That is how I failed out of 3 different colleges because attendance issues spiraled into not wanting to go back and face a teacher spiraled into missing tests spiraled into just never going back to class ever.
It's a vicious cycle.
It's a vicious cycle.
And when I said I haven't crashed out in 15 years, it's not because I magically fixed my brain. My brain is still 17 squirrels wrestling in a sack of glitter.
But therapy helped me disrupt that cycle, and it was LIFE-ALTERING.
But therapy helped me disrupt that cycle, and it was LIFE-ALTERING.
Also, I developed a healthy sense of humor about my own goofs.
As any 48 year old born in 1980 must.
As any 48 year old born in 1980 must.
