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Someone asked me about dealing with childhood trauma & healing from it. Here is everything that I learned for now, and everything I told them. I believe what I have to share has the capacity to help not only with childhood trauma but many things. Here is a LONG THREAD ON HEALING:
1. Recognize your pain. It is real, and if it is there, it is there. That’s it. Allow yourself to feel it, because you owe it to yourself.
Do not suppress your emotions, that’s repeating the same pattern that you’ve been taught. That your emotions aren’t valid and that you do not deserve to feel them.
2. Release your pain. BY FEELING IT. that is THE ONLY way. The only way. nothing else will get it out. these feelings just want to be felt. that’s it. Scream. Cry. Paint. EFT. (emotional frequency tapping, please google!) Journal about it.
Record yourself talking about it out loud. Talk to a friend about it, without expecting solutions, just to talk. Do something good and healthy for you to let your pain out. find different ways.
you will want to release pain so many times, so it is beneficial to have tools and means by which you can release it. it is good to have multiple different ways. it is such an important resource.
3. Recognize where it plays out in your life. See how your childhood affects you. What patterns are there? What areas of life are blocked? Where are your fears? What are they related to? Where are you struggling to heal?
Sometimes, people can’t do step 2 of this thread, and I say: begin there, why can’t you feel your emotions? Where does the block come from? Or do you simply not have tools? EFT.
Notice your patterns Make a list. Keep notes as you continue learning throughout time. You do not have to fix these things. Do not judge them. Do not be upset from yourself. Noticing them is enough. Just simply becoming aware of them will help you tremendously.
You’ll be able to witness how much of your action is based in these patterns. and you’ll start naturally changing your experiences.
4. Here is where the healing becomes deeper and more constructive (reprogramming) than destructive (releasing pain). Once you recognize the patterns you have, you can pick one out, one that relates to your life right now, and choose to begin working with it.
How do you work with it? There are so many ways as well. FIRST, you go back to step one, you start releasing, releasing the pain continuously. journaling becomes really essential here. you need to keep a diary. write in it as often as you can. dedicate time. become used to it.
it will help you see things more clearly. once you begin noticing your pattern deeply, understanding where it comes from, and why it’s being expressed the way that it is, you’ll be able to start REPROGRAMMING (best part!). Reprogramming can be done in so many ways.
here’s the one basic rule: it needs commitment. and repetition. maryam hasnaa says something along the lines of: think about how much time it took to create those patterns. it’ll take just as much to reprogram them. This does NOT mean it’s constant suffering.
it just means you’re gonna have to commit to this being a part of your life. like medication. you just can’t skip it or else the sickness will come back worse.
repetition is necessary because you’re literally recreating the neural pathways through which your brain is used to sending signals out across. it takes dedication and time. and patience and practice. and commitment and love. again, reprogramming can be done in so many ways.
here are a few:
- meditation : teaches the mind to be still, connects us to the body again, enhances positive chemicals in the brain, changes outlook on life, helps you see things for what they are, literally is so essential. 10 minutes a day is all it takes.
- meditation : teaches the mind to be still, connects us to the body again, enhances positive chemicals in the brain, changes outlook on life, helps you see things for what they are, literally is so essential. 10 minutes a day is all it takes.
some mediation can be helpful, such as inner child meditation, divine forgiveness, etc (all which can be found in different variations on youtube, or apps (insight timer))
and these are only a few.
and these are only a few.
- affirmations: there are thousands of affirmations out there that help us with reprogramming. they work so well. use affirmations that enforce a positive mindset. especially to tend to your inner child.
for example: one i’m working with right now is trying to accept that i’m worthy of good things and that i don’t have to be a certain way in order to receive them.
i’m using the affirmation ‘I am deserving of abundance, I am deserving of joy, simply because I am.’ and i keep saying it to myself. especially when i find my inner child acting from a place of fear.
- aromatherapy. using essential oils is so helpful because smell is a very strong trigger. read more about this but basically here’s it: every-time you are in a situation that triggers your inner child, use the oil to re-establish what you would like the inner child to know -…
…for example, if you’re feeling threatened, you smell your oil and say to yourself; i am safe to be myself, my fear is imagined. practice saying that to yourself even when you’re not triggered, and smell the oil while you’re at it.
- daily journaling. visit The Holistic Psychologists web page ( https://yourholisticpsychologist.com/ ) and sign up to her newsletter. you’ll get a free program that helps you rewrite a pattern if you commit 30 days to it.
- use your body. work out. yoga. anything. your body needs to know you are present for it.
- EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique). It is being used on War Veterans and it is working better than therapy to help them release emotions and soothe symptoms of PTSD.
there are so many other ways to reprogram the mind and these are only a few. The clear point is, it is all about consiously releasing new chemicals in the body by creating positive experiences.
5. Forgive yourself. Forgive that you have things to work on. forgive that it’s a struggle sometimes. forgive that you don’t have it easiest. forgive that there’s pain. forgive that there are blocks and fears. forgive yourself every single day. every single night.
forgive yourself so much. you are trying your best. you really are. you are someone who’s recognizing their pain and choosing to heal. and that’s the best thing you could ever do. so the least you can offer yourself in return is forgiveness. extend it to yourself.
maybe one day you can extend it to the world. forgive yourself because there will be many days where you cannot work on your healing. and your best will be enough then. so forgive yourself in those times too.
6. realize that sometimes the tendency to blame our abusers continuously is us actually still giving them the responsibility to take care of us and meet our needs, when clearly they do not want to. realize that your needs are yours to meet.
you are the only one that can take care of yourself. they were terribly wrong. and it’s so okay to be angry at them. feel however you want to feel. but do not expect them to change or help you. if they do, consider it a miracle.
Do not put the weight on someone to save you. They cannot. It is a waste of time. Support, however, is essential, so find a support group, whether it be friends or a community, online or offline.
Know that you are being watched over, and that you are bigger than this life. You can ask for the quantum field of this universe to communicate with you, to send signs, to show you the way.
7. Go to therapy if you can! Talking to someone sometimes is all we need to process things, and if you have access to a therapist, please take advantage of that. They could help you work things through and piece it together.
8.try your best to enjoy life. do things that you love. let your inner child play. do the things you liked to do as a kid. raise yourself all over again. be so in love with yourself. give yourself a hug. thank your body for holding you. immerse yourself in good environments.
do things that are entertaining to you. focus on always doing something good for yourself. stay focused on who you are becoming. stay focused on who you are now. be proud of your progress as often as you can. Be as grateful as you can be.
Try to look at the good things in your life and in yourself. Make a list of things you are grateful for.
9. Take your time. there is no rush whatsoever. and you will revisit things so many times, with more knowledge each time. this is the way the universe works. be patient with it. it won’t change at once, but it will change. with time.
Take your time, because this is your life's work. And even when it changes, you won't be able to stop practising self care. Once you start, you will realise this is an essential lifestyle.
If you found this helpful, I am so very glad. I hope you the best healing, and send you all of the light. May you find your journey be beautiful.
If you would like to support me whatsoever, here is the link to my paypal :D http://paypal.me/zaidzaghal
If you would like to support me whatsoever, here is the link to my paypal :D http://paypal.me/zaidzaghal
