the redefinition of vanilla sex as including mild bdsm acts (slapping/hair-pulling/strangling) is the worst thing for young women because they're immediately subject to these degrading + violent acts as part of their formative sexual experiences. strangling isn't the norm

if you enjoy that, fair but when men immediately assume every girl is into that and feel so comfortable trying to strangle (without any awareness of pressure points) or slap you then there is clearly an issue in how we've defined sex in the past decade

introducing physical violence no matter how mild into an act already so laden with gendered expectations is going to end badly when nobody knows how to do it right nor why they're doing it ANYWAY. "Do I actually enjoy this?" is what we should ask ourselves at every opportunity

as a man: why are u so comfortable hitting women? why is that something you've introduced into your sexual interactions. as women why are we so comfortable normalising what is borderline abuse? why are we not reassessing how dangerous this is?

also I want to add I'm explicitly speaking about heterosexual interactions where power dynamics are explicitly gendered. bdsm isn't wrong but why has it because a mainstream sexual practice with no critical awareness of its position nor the precaution it requires