phenomenal jewish pickup lines we should all be using: a thread

wanna get a drink sometime? i was thinking a glass of wine, i know this really great chuppah we can hang out under.

come over to my place on motzei shabbes, we can netflix and cholent

you must be the ba’al shem tov because you’re the besht (and the smell of ur weed makes me feel closer to god)

are you a sefer torah? because i really wanna give you a hagbah

you must be a dibbuk because my body feels like it belongs to you now and i dont have the strength to fight you off

there may be plenty of gefilte fish in the kitchen, but you’re the only one my bubbe approves of

are you a dvar torah? because i’m hanging off your every word &also u make me ready for bed. also i have an issue with something you said towards the beginning & would like to debate that one thing. no i didnt pay attention to the rest i was too busy thinking about how right i am

baby are you the ten plagues inflicted upon egypt? because DAMN. tzfardeyah. kinim. arov. dever. schin. barod. arbeh. choshech. makot bechorot.

you know where that coat of many colors would look better? torn to shreds and covered in blood as your siblings convince your elderly father you’re dead. also my bedroom floor.

i took a 23andme test and good news we’re not related!

my mom said i can share our family's cholent recipe with you

wanna wait seven years then accidentally marry my sister and then wait another seven years and marry me? what could possibly go wrong?

hey baby are you a latke? bc you’re all i’ve been thinking about lately and also you’re very divisive.

seven new pickup lines! https://www.heyalma.com/14-jewish-pick-up-lines-hotter-than-the-burning-bush/

baby are you a kippah? bc ur always at the top of my head

this wondrous tweet https://twitter.com/YonadavEB/status/1232877018032852993?s=20