Accio, Hot Teacher - KiriBaku thread

CW: Lots of nerdy Harry Potter talk and Slytherin loving! This will be updated as needed!

QRT please! Thanks guys!

“C’mon dad! We’re already running behind and you know how much I hate being late.”

Katsuki peers over his sunglasses at the tiny dictator that has his hand in a vice grip and is dragging him towards her school. He’s usually a punctual person, but after pulling an all-nighter and

having to wake up at the ass crack of dawn to meet with Amaya’s teacher, he was dragging ass.

He allows her to pull him through the throng of tired parents and chipper children, and deposit him in front of a door that’s decorated with the Hogwarts houses and each child’s

name under their proper house.

Cute.

Amaya pushes her black glasses up her nose and points to the gold and red lion symbol. Her little chest puffs out proudly as she declares, “I’m a Gryffindor dad! Mr. Kirishima said there was no surprise there!”

He looks down at his daughter and playfully makes a disgusted noise. “Tch. How could a Slytherin possibly spawn a Gryffindor? I’m pretty sure you got switched at birth kiddo.”

The “switched at birth” is their longest running joke. Amaya looks exactly like Bakugou: beautiful big red eyes, ash blonde hair that he fights with her about keeping long, slender, and her nose even crinkles the same way his does when he’s angry, but that’s as far as the

similarities go. Amaya is more easy going and soft. She’s the type of child that is friends with everyone and Bakugou is proud to witness his daughter speaking to every child, by name, as they enter the school.

She’s the best part of his life and every chance he gets, he loves to remind her.

Her hand is poised on the door and as Katsuki moves to push it open, her other hand pushes on his stomach to stop him.

Dad,” she whispers, “please be nice to Mr. Kirishima, okay? Please?” She looks up at him with eyes that are begging him to be on his best behavior.

He rolls his eyes and moves her hand from his body, pushing past her into a classroom that was entirely decorated in Harry Potter

memorabilia. He lets out a low whistle of appreciation as he walks through the classroom, gingerly touching wands, a quidditch set, time turners, marauders map bathroom passes, “Potter Stinks” and “Weasley is our King” pins, and an inexplicably large pair of wizard robes hanging

on the back of the door. There was even a sorting hat sitting atop a stool in the corner near the desk. Bakugou has never met Mr. Kirishima, but he has the faint inkling, he’ll be able to be nice to him, even if only during the parent teacher conference, because of their shared

interest in all things Hogwarts.

Of course, Amaya is already sitting prim and proper at the desk with her little ankles crossed and her hands folded in her lap. He yawns and slumps in the chair next to hers, moving his sunglasses up onto his head and pushing his hair out of

his face. Jesus Christ he was tired. He rubs his eyes with the back of his hand and stretches, his back arching and a nearly too small t-shirt riding up to expose the pale skin of his stomach. He scratches at the stubble on his chin and notices that A: he forgot to remove his eye

liner before going to bed and now B: he probably looks like Bucky Barnes in Winter Soldier.

Oh well. It’s not his fault the fucking photographer he was working with decided to show up for the shoot plastered and yelling at him to re-do every single models make up,

which made him get home at nearly 3am. If he looks like a raccoon by the eyes, it’s a small price to pay for being here to hear all of the wonderful things Amaya is accomplishing at school.

He nudges Amaya and screws up his face to cross his eyes before asking her,

“On a scale of ‘0 to what the fresh fuck’ how bad do I look?”

“I would say you’re precariously teetering on the edge of ‘hot mess’ “. A deep voice chuckles from the door way.

Katsuki whips his head around to scold the extra that has intruded on his parent teacher conference time slot, when his mouth drops open. Mr. Kirishima is fucking stacked and drop dead gorgeous. His red hair is tied back loosely in a bun and his glasses sat perched on his head.

His smile is dazzling and Katsuki wonders if there was a time in his life where he got his teeth filed for the aesthetic or if they came in pointy, sharp, and dangerous. His smile is easy and reaches his eyes. And those eyes? Pools of ruby that Katsuki wants to get lost in.

But the best part?

He’s slipping on his wizard robes over a dress shirt that strains against his biceps and chest and the sleeves are rolled up to his elbows, exposing a patchwork of colorful tattoos that look oddly like magical creatures from the Harry Potter books.

Instead of slacks, he wears black denim jeans that look as if they were painted on his muscular legs and a pair of green converse.

Katsuki’s heart is beating so loud in his chest, he swears both Mr. Kirishima and Amaya can hear it. Why, for the love of all that is holy,

did Amaya not tell him Mr. Kirishima was a fucking god amongst mere mortal men? And here he is, looking like a homeless raccoon, blonde hair fluffy and untamed, a ratty t-shirt, black leggings, an oversized cardigan that he insists on keeping despite the many holes, and a scuffed

and scribbled on pair of white converse.

Why him?

Mr. Kirishima sits at his desk, still smiling, and when he turns to Amaya he winks. Bakugou groans inwardly. Mr. Kirishima turns to Bakugou and extends a hand. “You must be Amaya’s father. Nice to meet you. I’ve heard a lot about you.” His eyes twinkle as Katsuki shakes his hand.

He has to fight the urge to bite his bottom lip because the thoughts he was having about Mr. Kirishima’s large hands...not appropriate.

“Yep, this is my spawn. How’s she doing so far?” He’s nervous and he hopes Mr. Kirishima doesn’t pick up on that.

Mr. Kirishima, pulls out a file folder and slides it across the desk to Katsuki. He puts on his glasses and begins,

“If you open the folder and look at the first page, you’ll see I’ve been charting her progress since the first day of class in several categories: peer relationships, willingness to help, eagerness to learn, following directions, and of course her academic performance.”

Katsuki pretends to flip through the folder when in all actuality, he’s flipping out. This man has the nerve to be gorgeous, while wearing fucking green glasses, and he’s organized?!

He knows Amaya is smart and academically surpasses her peers, because she’s a Bakugou, but, he tempers his arrogance when he responds to the information presented to him. “I’m glad to see she’s doing well in your class Mr. Kirishima.” He rises to leave, thinking that this

parent teacher conference was over when Mr. Kirishima clears his throat.

“Uh, Mr. Bakugou, we actually aren’t done. If you can take a look at the most recent information related to Amaya’s peer interactions please?”

He looks over at Amaya and she’s purposely avoiding his eye contact. He narrows his gaze and turns to face her. “Amaya Janelle. What did you do?”

Mr. Kirishima reaches over the desk and flips several pages over until he reaches the chart. Katsuki reads over the information, his

eyes scanning quickly. A short laugh escapes his lips, which he covers up with a cough. He looks up at Mr. Kirishima, expecting him to be upset at his reaction, but much to his surprise, notices him fighting a small smile.

“She has been overheard by multiple students calling others “squib” and “bloody extras” when angry. While I encourage our students to express their feelings and emotions, we like to do so without name calling. Right Amaya?” Mr. Kirishima turns his smile over to Amaya and she

smiles shyly.

“Yes Mr. Kirishima.” She turns to face Katsuki. “If it makes any difference I did apologize to them dad.”

In all actuality, he was quite proud that his little spawn was starting to show the same fiery passion for coming up with interesting insults, but he knew

right now wasn’t the place to congratulate her.

Oh, what the hell.

“Squib? Bloody extra? High five kid. Guess you take after me more than I know.” Amaya beams over at him as reaches out to give him a quick high five.

Mr. Kirishima coughs lightly, pulling the attention back to him. “Mr. Bakugou, Amaya is bright, well mannered, highly intelligent, and all around joy to have in my class. However, I want her to continue to engage appropriately with her peers.

Keeping this in mind, we really need not encourage her to name call.” He lowers his voice and adds, “Even if Jameson /is/ a bloody extra and quite annoying.” He winks at Amaya.

Turning back to face Katsuki, he uses his index finger to push up his glasses and graces him with a

bright smile that makes the corner of his eyes crinkle and his nose scrunch and goddamnit, Katsuki thinks he has a crush.

“Mr. Bakugou, do you have any questions or concerns?”

Katsuki can only shake his head as he drinks in the image of this man, dressed in full wizarding robes, but still managing to look amazing.

Kirishima claps his hands as he stands. “Alright then! Amaya, wands at the ready!”

Katsuki watches in amusement as his daughter

engages with her teacher. She hops to her feet and responds with, “Wands at the ready!”

And in unison, Amaya and Mr. Kirishima say, “I solemnly swear I am up to no good!”

Scratch that. Katsuki /knows/ he has a crush.

***

Katsuki is an involved parent. Well, as much as he possibly can be with his fluctuating work schedule. He does rely on the kindness of Amaya’s godmother, Uraraka, to take her to and from school so he is able to sleep in or so he won’t have to leave a job early.

So, when Amaya begins to question why he is not only dropping her off at school, but insisting on walking her to her classroom, the only excuse he is able to come with is, “I’m interested in volunteering kid. Got a problem with that?”

He is /not/ interested in volunteering. /At all./He’s interested in catching they eye of a brick house redhead that apparently teaches in his wizarding robes on a daily basis.

Amaya is shrewd and able to pick up on the little nuances like he is, so he knows that lying to her

is going to result in some kind of issue later. He’s expecting /maybe/ an embarrassing email from Mr. Kirishima letting him know they don’t need volunteers in the classroom or whatever the fuck. What he is not expecting however...

“A bake sale?” He stares down at a slip of pink paper that has his name written in a slanted scrawl with ‘Thank you’ at the bottom. Amaya sits at his vanity staring at him with a mischievous glint in her red eyes. He narrows his eyes at her and waits.

Amaya cracks under pressure fairly easily, a trait she’s inherited from her mother, he thinks.

“Dad...“

He stares, quiet and steely eyed.

“Daddy...”

He folds his arms over his chest and cocks an eyebrow.

“Fine!” Amaya huffs out. “I may or may not have told Mr. Kirishima that /you/ said you were coming to the class in the morning to be able to volunteer.”

Katsuki groans as he slides a hand down his face. “May, why? This bake sale is right in the middle of a busy shoot.”

His stare softens as Amaya nervously twirls a lock of hair around her finger.

“I-I like having you drop me off in the mornings. Even if it’s because you think Mr. Kirishima is hot.” Her voice is barely above a whisper.

Katsuki squats down in front of Amaya and takes her face in his hands, turning her head softly to meet his gaze. “I enjoy walking you to your class too May. I’m sorry I don’t spend much time with you these days, but you know what? I’ll just tell that photographer I gotta do

something important and if he gives me a problem, well.. fuck him!”

Amaya’s eyes go wide. “Really dad? You’re gonna come volunteer at the bake sale?”

He kisses her forehead and moves to stand. “Would I lie to you?”

“Santa. Tooth Fairy. Easter Bunny. You said you were actually /sorted/. Sweets don’t exist if my plate isn’t clean... need I go on?” She crosses her arms defiantly over her chest.

“I—fair.”

“Pinky promise you’ll be there, no matter what?”

She holds out her pinky finger. He’s never once broken a pinky promise and he’s not going to start now.

“Pinky promise.” He loops his pinky around hers and smiles down at her. Her eyes shine with excitement despite her best attempt at remaining stoic.

She is definitely his twin.

“Too bad Mr. Kirishima couldn’t be here to perform the Unbreakable Vow for us.” She mumbles.

“Hey! Have some faith in your old man, gremlin.”

She grabs her backpack and heads to the bedroom door. “Bake sale is tomorrow dad. See you after school!”

“See you-wait! How do you know I think Mr. Kirishima is ‘hot’?!” He yells after Amaya. She shrugs her shoulders and when she enters her bedroom, slowly closes the door with a smirk on her face.

So, he has to volunteer at a bake sale. And his daughter /hopefully/ has not set it in her heart to play matchmaker, because fucking awkward. Besides, he’s not even sure if Mr. Kirishima has a Mrs. Kirishima or a partner. It’s an elementary school bake sale.

What’s the worst that can happen?

***

For starters, he’s late. /Really late/. The photographer did not want to let him leave prior to finishing up each models look and today one of the models happened to be Stefanee.

She’s notoriously difficult in make up and he spends nearly an hour and a half on her when makeup was only supposed to be 45 minutes.

Secondly, where the fuck was he supposed to buy ‘gluten free, sugar free, dairy free’ cupcakes and who in their right mind would want

to eat those?!

He rushes into the school auditorium with bags full of pastries from his favorite bakery. He spots Amaya’s class table and nearly skids to a halt as he sees who the other volunteer is.

Mr. Kirishima.

How is it possible that he’s even more breathtaking than he was a few weeks ago? He slows his power walk to a stroll and takes several deep breaths to steady his breathing. He mentally goes over his outfit making sure he’s not “precariously teetering on the edge of hot mess” and

thankfully today, he wasn’t. He was wearing a pair of orange fishnets with a black plaid skirt, a black midriff top that barely shows a hint of his stomach and a different pair of scuffed, but more presentable, black converses. He only had time for eyeliner and mascara

this morning, but his wing was sharp enough to cut a bitch, so he’s good.

As he approaches the table, Mr. Kirishima raises a hand to wave him over. He smiles up at Katsuki and his eyes quickly move over his body, lingering on his legs.

When Katsuki sits at the little fold out table and takes out the baked goods, both he and Mr. Kirishima are visibly blushing.

“Thanks for volunteering Mr. Bakugou. I see where Amaya gets her willingness to help.”

Yeah, sure, “willingness to help”. Little brat.

“S’not a problem. Sorry I’m late, work.” He avoids looking over at Mr. Kirishima and instead focuses on the grubby little hands of a child attempting to touch every baked good offered at their table. “Oi! You!”

The kid freezes with his hand perched above a brownie. “Don’t you /dare/.” He growls lightly as the kid backs away slowly. “Tch. Unsanitary tiny drunks they are.” He shakes his head and chances a glance at Mr. Kirishima.

When he makes eye contact, Mr. Kirishima quickly looks away and busies himself with straightening out the napkins. “So, Mr. Bakugou, what is it you do for a living?”

Katsuki’s gaze slides over Mr. Kirishima’s upper body and he nearly goes into cardiac arrest. Instead of wearing a dress shirt, he has on a black shirt with the quote, “Always.” across the chest and he has the /audacity/ to have his arms out? All thick and muscular and that’s

definitely a tattoo of a Niffler holding a galleon and..

Mr. Kirishima clears his throat gently and red eyes meet ruby. This time, neither of them look away. A slow creeping blush starts at the tip of Mr. Kirishima’s ears and spreads down to his cheeks giving him the appearance

of glowing from the inside out.

“Katsuki”, he replies softly.

Mr. Kirishima’s brow knits together in confusion before his mouth forms into a small “o” shape. “Eijirou. If you don’t mind me asking again, what is it you do for a living Katsuki?”

It doesn’t make any sense how his stomach fills with heat at the sound of his name falling from Mr.Kiri-Eijirou’s-lips, yet a warmth he hasn’t felt in years is spreading throughout his body. He swallows nervously before answering,

“Make up artist. I freelance mostly, but I’m also in the process of starting up my own YouTube channel.”

They fall into an easy conversation as the bake sale winds down. Katsuki learns Eijirou is three years older than him and teases him about being 33.

“When did you stop dying your hair for aesthetics and start dying it to hide grey hair?”

Eijirou learns that Katsuki had a brief stint as a fashion model and sarcastically points out his height (despite Katsuki standing at 5’11”). “I didn’t know male models were allowed to be so short.”

By the time they’re taking the materials back into the classroom, Eijirou is gesturing wildly with a look of disbelief on his face. “What do you /mean/ you’ve never actually been sorted?! This is a travesty! A tragedy! An affront to all of us in the wizarding community.”

Katsuki laughs, “An affront? I just know I’m a Slytherin. Draco? My spiritual twin.”

Eijirou leans against his desk and shakes his head. “That’s not how it works dude. You actually have to get sorted. Here..”

he moves to the stool and holds the sorting hat in his hands. He stands in front of Katsuki, smiling down at him with a beautifully lopsided grin and places the sorting hat on his head. He pushes a lock of hair out of Katsuki’s eyes and his fingers linger on his cheek.

Katsuki holds his breath, hoping for more, but still not quite knowing whether or not he stands a chance. He blinks and Eijirou is pulling away to sit at his desk in front of his laptop. Katsuki can still feel the heat from his fingers on his cheek.

Eijirou motions for Katsuki to stand next to him and he hesitates, but takes small deliberate steps toward the redhead. He glances at the laptop and sees Eijirou is already logged into Pottermore.

“Tch. Nerd.” He breaks the awkward silence between them and Eijirou chuckles.

“I embrace it dude. Now let’s get you sorted.”

Katsuki lets out a triumphant whoop and points to the computer. “I told you I’m a Slytherin Eijirou! I should have made you a bet. I’m /never/ wrong.” He’s smiling widely and peacocking over his victory, so he misses the way Eijirou’s eyes light up with a hidden smile.

“Wait until I tell the little brat that I was right all along! Oi! I should have made a bet with her t—“

He stops mid-sentence as a warm hand is placed on his forearm. Eijirou is smiling up at him and goddamnit those dimples are making Katsuki’s mind slowly shut down.

“One fellow Slytherin to another, how would you like to join me in a little mischief?”

Is Eijirou asking him on a date?!

Unfortunately, Katsuki’s mind has completely shut down at the prospect that maybe, just maybe, hot teacher could be into him. Eijirou’s smile falters as he moves his hand away.

“If you’re not into me-it! I mean it, it’s okay. I just thought..”

Katsuki slowly reboots and thank all of the gods, his mouth works well enough to flippantly day, “I don’t make it a habit to date my daughter’s teacher, but for you I’ll make an exception.”

Is that what he /actually/ said though?

Hell. No.

What came out was a loud, “I don’t date!”

Holy hell.

Eijirou’s eyes narrow and Katsuki hopes he can smooth things over by exuberantly over explaining his momentary lapse of stupidity.

“I-you...Fuck.” He slides a palm over his face and wills his panic to cut it the fuck out. From behind his hand he mumbles, “Can we get a do-over?”

Eijirou chuckles as he closes his laptop and rises to stand. “I would be willing to perform the obliviate spell on you, but it would be an absolute shame for you to go through all of the stages of gay panic again.

I might enjoy it, pretty sure Amaya would too, but you would just be suffering and while I /am/ a Slytherin, I’m not cruel.” He places a hand on the small of Katsuki’s back to shift around him.

Wait..

“How do you know about ‘gay panic’ and what makes you think I was panicking?” Katsuki panics.

Eijirou holds the classroom door open for Katsuki as he shrugs into a green cardigan. “Why do you assume I /wouldn’t/ know Katsuki?”

Katsuki stands with a hand on his hip and a look of disbelief on his face. “Are you...?”

“Attracted to you? Most definitely. So, will you be joining me in some mischief later this week or will we just continue to exist in a state of perpetual panic?” He tucks a strand of red

behind his ear and waits for a response.

“I-yes?” He wants to kick himself at the level of uncertainty in his voice. He’s no stranger to good looking men and women flirting with him, but there was something about Eijirou that has him slowly coming undone.

“Great! I have your phone number already, you know emergency contact information for the kids, so I’ll text you the address this Friday.” He waves Katsuki out the door and as he walks by Eijirou, he feels his fingertips dust the exposed skin at the small of his back again.

***

“Dad, why are all of your clothes either highly inappropriate,” Amaya sneers as she holds up a pair of short shorts, “or old cat lady?” She throws an old cardigan on his bed.

He’s at the other end of his closet, rifling through an unending row of hangers. “First of all kid, when you look like your old man, nothing is inappropriate.”

Amaya makes an exaggerated gagging sound. “Gross dad. Please spare me.”

“Only if you admit that I’m less cat lady and more bag lady chic.” He pulls out a pair of black jean shorts that are just long enough to dance on the edge of appropriate.

He places the jean shorts on the bed and pulls open a dresser drawer. After rummaging in the drawer for several seconds he pulls out a shiny pair of green tights and adds that to growing pile of clothes on the bed. Now to find a shirt...

Amaya holds up a glittering black crop top hoodie. “This. This is cute! Mr. Kirishima will definitely think this is cute dad.”

He places the outfit on the bed and stands back with his hands on hips, picturing himself dressed.

They were meeting at a bar and while he didn’t want to over do it, he still wanted to appear casual and as if he hadn’t spent the last hour with his co-conspirator looking for a suitable first date outfit.

Uraraka comes into his room and stands next to him.

“If that’s the outfit you’re wearing tonight Kat,” she ends that sentiment with a low appreciative whistle.

“Aren’t you just here to watch my spawn?”

“And to help you make good outfit choices. Jelly here told me about the outfit for parent teacher conference. We do /not/ need the cat lady cardigan making another appearance.” She skillfully dodges a barrage of clothes as she laughs.

***

Katsuki is early. He has a habit of needing to walk the building before feeling comfortable enough to settle. Something about anxiety or nerves or whatever the fuck he’s been told by Uraraka. He is also very anal about being punctual. If he’s on time, he’s late.

The bar is cute. The walls are covered in movie and book posters. Against one of the walls is a raised platform with a stool and microphone. Perhaps they did karaoke in the bar, but he’d be damned if Eijirou expects him to get up there and make a fool of himself.

Each table has a different “theme” that does clash horribly with the table next to it, but it works somehow. He checks his watch and makes an annoyed sound. Eijirou was five minutes late. He pulls out his phone and begins to type out a message to the redhead,

when a familiar hand is placed on the small of his back just above his ass. He shivers from the touch and turns around to face a flushed and smiling Eijirou.

“Sorry I’m late. I was going to take the car, but last minute decided to take my bike so I had to go back in and make

minor adjustments in my ensemble.”

Katsuki’s eyes travel down Eijirou’s body slowly. He was dressed in all black, save for a pair of green boots. Katsuki looks down at his green boots and blushes.

“Great minds think alike” Eijirou winks at him and Katsuki does everything within his power to not full on attack the wall of a man standing in front of him. So what does he do instead?

“Do you make it a habit to go around touching the lower backs of strangers, Eijirou?”

He shows his ass.

Eijirou spreads the fingers of his hand against his lower back, pulling him in a bit closer and smirks. “Only yours Katsuki. And I knew it was you. Who else would show up to a bar in a glittering crop top hoodie?” His fingers slide across the dimples on Katsuki’s back and he

marvels at the way his skin comes alive just from the simple touch.

He pushes back from Eijirou and clears his throat. “I hope you aren’t expecting me to get up on that stage and make a fool of myself by singing some stupid ass rendition of a Whitney Houston song.”

He folds his arms over his chest.

Eijirou flashes a mischievous grin and shakes his head. His hair is loose and free and Katsuki nearly swoons, yes /swoons/, at the way his hair frames his face and rests on his shoulders.

“Nope, there’s another way you can make a fool of yourself..”

***

Katsuki stands up and yells loudly, “PAGE 394!!”

“And another correct answer for ‘Team Lucius Malfoy is Zaddy Af’ bringing them up to first place!”

Katsuki lets out an excited yell as he claps his hands. He turns to point at Eijirou. “I told you I’d kick your ass at Harry Potter trivia.”

Eijirou laughs and takes a long swallow of his Felix Felicis. “For the last time Katsuki, we’re on the /same/ team dude.”

Katsuki shrugs as he sits back down at the small table. The Polyjuice Potion and Butterbeer he had earlier were starting to give him a nice buzz. “Still.” He reaches over and plucks the drink out of Eijirou’s hand to take a sip. “Care to make a friendly wager, teach?”

Eijirou raises an eyebrow and takes his drink back from Katsuki. “I’m listening.”

“If I get the next question right, you let me take you on a date. If I get it wrong, you get to come up with some interesting prize for yourself, and you don’t even have to tell me in order for me

to agree. Deal?” He holds out a hand.

Eijirou grins as he shakes Katsuki’s hand. “Deal.”

The trivia master taps the microphone drawing the attention of the crowd back to him.

“Alright, just to recap, Team ‘Lucius Malfoy is Zaddy af’ is in the lead with a whopping 20 points! Team ‘Neville Is a Hot Bottom’ is second, while Team ‘Slither In My Forbidden Forest’ is bringing up the rear in third place.

Jesus... who lets you guys come up with these names? Anyways! Next question is, what was the name of the teacher that was killed in the beginning of Deathly Hallows?”

Katsuki’s eyes go wide as his mind races to find an answer. “Fuck fuck fuck.. what was her name?!”

Eijirou calmly stands and bellows out, “Charity Burbage.”

((Shout out to me for still being salty all these years later that a character with my first name gets offed in the first chapter of the book))

The trivia master rings a bell. “Correct! You guys win. The prize? Absolutely nothing! Enjoy the rest of the evening folks.”

Eijirou turns to Katsuki, smiling like the cat that ate a fucking canary. “I believe you have lost. Which makes me the winner, and you the loser. Is that how this works?”

Katsuki rolls his eyes and picks at a little rip that has formed in the thigh of his tights. He’s a sore loser, but he’s a man of his word. He looks over at Eijirou through his lashes.

“So, what do you want? More help volunteering at the shitty gluten free, dairy free, sugar free bake sale?”

Eijirou places a hand on Katsuki’s knee and places a finger under his chin to tilt his head up.

Katsuki.exe has stopped working.

He holds his breath as Eijirou leans in. He can smell the faint scent of alcohol on his breath and he’s vividly aware of the warm heat on his knee radiating from his large hand.

He hates being a basic bitch, but he’d be lying if he doesn’t admit that in that moment, the bar fades away as the distance between their lips closes.

***
Katsuki wakes up to an arm over his chest and red hair clouding his vision. He yawns and rolls into Eijirou’s side, before it dawns on him.

“Holy shit!” He sits up, knocking Eijirou off of him to scramble out of bed. “Wake up Eijirou!” He shakes the sleeping redhead by

the shoulders. “You’re gonna be late for work and I’m going to be late getting Amaya to school!”

He ran around the room, quickly hopping into his shorts and pulling on his boots as he stumbles. Eijirou yawns as he sits up in bed, a shy smile on his lips.

Katsuki stands with one boot on and his hoodie in his hands. “Hurry the fuck up Shitty Hair! We both can’t be late.”

“I mean, we can...”

“How the hell are we both going to explain being late to Amaya? She’s scary when she’s late...”

Eijirou laughs softly and pats the bed. “It’s Saturday dude. We aren’t late for anything.”

Katsuki’s boot drops to the floor with a thud as he crawls back into the warmth. “Well in that case...” he kisses Eijirou softly as they sink back onto the bed.

***

“Are you sure this is a good idea Katsuki?” Eijirou nervously asks.

Katsuki unlocks the front door and turns back to face Eijirou. “I never said it was a good idea. I just refuse to be the only one that gets chewed out by the tiny terror—hey May!”

They enter the foyer to see Amaya with her arms folded over her chest and her slippered hippogriff foot tapping on the floor. “Well?”

Katsuki points to Eijirou. “It’s his fault.”

“Hey!” Eijirou exclaims.

Amaya narrows her eyes and Katsuki has to hide his smile. She looks so much like him in that moment. “Mr. Kirishima. We need to discuss your intentions with my father.”

Katsuki can’t stop the barking laughter, but when those red eyes are narrowed in his direction, he coughs and catches himself. “May, be nice. You still have three quarters left with Mr. Kirishima. Unless you want to go to Mr. Todoroki’s class.”

They both make a disgusted sound

in their throat and Eijirou laughs softly. “Amaya, would you like to sit and talk?” Eijirou asks.

She nods her head and points to the living room. “After you Mr. Kirishima.”

Katsuki places a kiss on Eijirou’s cheek and whispers, “Good luck” as he heads upstairs.

Eijirou walks to the couch and lowers himself on the cushions. “Well, shall we begin?”

Amaya stands in front of him with her hands on her hips. “Do you like my dad?”

Eijirou blanches. “I-uh-yeah?”

Amaya scoffs. “The inflection in your voice was higher at the end, implying that you’re questioning whether or not you do. So, do you?”

“How do you know about inflection and tone Amaya?” Eijirou is impressed.

Amaya rolls her eyes and sighs, “You taught us not too long ago! Now answer my question and stop being such a Slytherin!”

“Amaya!” Katsuki hell’s down from upstairs. “Be nice or you’re grounded gremlin!”

“Fine, fine, fine!” She grumbles. “Do you like my dad?”

Eijirou nods. “Very much.”

“You gonna be nice to him?”

“I plan on it.”

“He’s a lot to handle y’know. He’s like Buckbeak.”

“I promise I won’t allow anyone to behead your father Amaya.”

She giggles at the thought and schools her expression. “We’re a package deal. Two for one special.”

Eijirou allows a wide smile to bloom as he stage whispers, “Then it’s a good thing I like you more than your dad.”

“I heard that.” Katsuki feigns disappointment from the entryway.

Amaya’s eyes shift between the two of them and Katsuki can hear the little cogs in her mind churning as she formulated her opinion on the situation. “I approve.”

Katsuki and Eijirou both exhale loudly and reply, “Thank Dumbledore.”

Amaya sneers and rolls her eyes as she walks away mumbling. “The only Gryffindor in a house of Slytherins. Who did I curse in my previous life?”

***

“What’s up fuckers! Welcome back to the YouTube channel. You know the name and why you’re here, so let’s cut the shit and jump right in! Ei!!” Katsuki looks away from the camera and yells loudly for his boyfriend of 6 months.

Eijirou appears in the frame waving wildly. “Hello fellow YouTubers and subscribers!”

Katsuki rolls his eyes and nudges him. “Please stop showing your age. You’re here to help with the tutorial so shut up and just look pretty. ‘Kay?”

Eijirou adjusts his house robes and nods. “Whatever you say babe.” He moves in for a kiss and Katsuki pushes his face away.

“Makeup only! There are kids that watch us Eiji.”

“Well maybe you shouldn’t call them ‘fuckers’ then?”

Katsuki shakes a bottle of primer spray and spritzes Eijirou’s face without warning, laughing as he splutters. “Good point babe. Alright, /fuckers/ you asked for it so we’re doing it! Hogwarts houses inspired looks! Since we’re both Slytherin’s,

I’m going with a smiley emerald night look, that will clash terribly with Ei’s shitty hair—“

“Hey!” Eijirou cuts him off.

Katsuki continues, “—and a neutral lip because you bitches do the utmost when you pair a bold eye with a bold ass lip.”

They spend the next 40 minutes engaging in loving banter as Katsuki explains the steps to achieve the look he’s completing on Eijirou. Once they’re finally done, they both look at the camera and repeat in perfect unison, as their sign off,

“I solemnly swear I am up to no good.”

-End-