I wish this piece spent more time reckoning with the obvious problem of the “I’m ugly” meme: it’s only for people who aren’t actually ugly IRL. https://www.vox.com/the-goods/2019/11/14/20963125/tiktok-ugly-hi-im-ryan

For years I’ve been seeing pieces about how digital native teen girls are pushing back on the pressures of beauty culture by being intentionally unattractive online — distorting their faces with grimaces, etc, instead of putting their best face forward.

And this behavior is usually positioned as a feminist tweaking of expectations of feminine performance, and thus a sign that young girls are resilient and good.

But that read ignores a crucial element: it is “fun” to be ugly online because these girls don’t face the costs of ugliness IRL.

What is it like for young people — and especially young women — who *aren’t* considered beautiful to see their peers mimic faces like their own as a joke? Can we really consider being ugly for fun “empowerment” if it necessarily makes a joke of people who *are* ugly IRL?

Look, I get it, it’s hard to be a woman and it’s especially hard to be a teen girl. But I wish we could figure out a way to teach kids to understand that appearances don’t say anything about someone’s value as a person — rather than encouraging them to don“ugly” as a costume.

Also just wanted to say that @guysmiley22 consistently offers smart thoughts that help me better understand what it's like to live in a culture that casually throws around "ugly" as an insult when you're disfigured.