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If all Scottish Premiership managers had a normal job thread:
Derek McInnes (Aberdeen)
Policeman. Walks about the streets acting hard as nails but as soon as someone stands their ground he shitebags it. Biggest turn on is taking drink off football fans.
Policeman. Walks about the streets acting hard as nails but as soon as someone stands their ground he shitebags it. Biggest turn on is taking drink off football fans.
Neil Lennon (Celtic)
Site foreman overseeing labour. Loves to have the craic but won’t hesitate to throw a shovel in your direction. Always the first at the pub after work and the last to leave
Site foreman overseeing labour. Loves to have the craic but won’t hesitate to throw a shovel in your direction. Always the first at the pub after work and the last to leave
Brian Rice (Hamilton)
Works in a secondary school as a teacher. Nobody likes him and wish he would just retire already. Never puts into birthday collections and doesn’t attend the Christmas night out.
Works in a secondary school as a teacher. Nobody likes him and wish he would just retire already. Never puts into birthday collections and doesn’t attend the Christmas night out.
Austin MacPhee (Hearts)
Driving instructor. Makes promises that you’ll pass in 20 lessons or less but spends the entire hour crying over his ex-wife. Will always be the second choice in town.
Driving instructor. Makes promises that you’ll pass in 20 lessons or less but spends the entire hour crying over his ex-wife. Will always be the second choice in town.
Eddie May (Hibs)
Unemployed following multiple mid-life crisis’. Still gets off about an ex that left him for a man with more money in England.
Unemployed following multiple mid-life crisis’. Still gets off about an ex that left him for a man with more money in England.
Angelo Alessio (Kilmarnock)
Always a second in command, turned owner of a mid-sized restaurant chain. Heavily wrote off by former employees but loved by his current ones. Refuses to sell any meat that comes from a sheep and vegetarian sausages after an incident in the summer.
Always a second in command, turned owner of a mid-sized restaurant chain. Heavily wrote off by former employees but loved by his current ones. Refuses to sell any meat that comes from a sheep and vegetarian sausages after an incident in the summer.
Gary Holt (Livingston)
Owner of a thriving carpet bowling club. Cheap booze on sale every week. Away teams constantly complain at the state of the green; Gary gives no fucks.
Owner of a thriving carpet bowling club. Cheap booze on sale every week. Away teams constantly complain at the state of the green; Gary gives no fucks.
Stephen Robinson (Motherwell)
Cars salesman. Uses an aggressive sales technique and outsells against the wee guys. Struggles against corporate chains. Once tried to flog a write-off and it ended embarrassingly for everyone involved
Cars salesman. Uses an aggressive sales technique and outsells against the wee guys. Struggles against corporate chains. Once tried to flog a write-off and it ended embarrassingly for everyone involved
Steve Ferguson & Stuart Kettlewell (Ross County)
Run a small but successful window fitting business. Steve passes the day by telling stories of the last night out whilst Stuart dreams of 5 o’clock so he can get back to his book, a glass of wine and his fireplace.
Run a small but successful window fitting business. Steve passes the day by telling stories of the last night out whilst Stuart dreams of 5 o’clock so he can get back to his book, a glass of wine and his fireplace.
Steven Gerrard (Rangers)
Social media promoter for some a tragic night club. Thinks he’s a big shot because he’s on 24k a year. Hits the Ibiza strip every summer without fail.
Social media promoter for some a tragic night club. Thinks he’s a big shot because he’s on 24k a year. Hits the Ibiza strip every summer without fail.
Tommy Wright (St. Johnstone)
Drives buses but has no clue about customer service. Never cracks a smile and refuses to wave to other bus drivers on the road. Planned to tour Europe years ago but it only lasted two weeks.
Drives buses but has no clue about customer service. Never cracks a smile and refuses to wave to other bus drivers on the road. Planned to tour Europe years ago but it only lasted two weeks.
Jim Goodwin (St Mirren)
Personal Trainer. Doesn’t settle for anything less than 100% effort and isn’t afraid to throw hands. Tells people he looks like George Clooney on the regular, and randomly shouts Obika every 20 minutes.
Personal Trainer. Doesn’t settle for anything less than 100% effort and isn’t afraid to throw hands. Tells people he looks like George Clooney on the regular, and randomly shouts Obika every 20 minutes.
Bonus: Brendan Rodgers
Office executive. Once was flying high with no end in sight. Made a move to gain more money, now no one likes him. Now lives in a sewer along with a former colleague.
Office executive. Once was flying high with no end in sight. Made a move to gain more money, now no one likes him. Now lives in a sewer along with a former colleague.
