ADVENTURERS: We're here for your treasure!
DRAGON: Righto.
ADVENTURERS: Um... Where is it.
DRAGON:
ADVENTURERS:
DRAGON: The treasure is the friends you made along the way.
ADVENTURERS:
DRAGON:
ADVENTURERS: Seriously?
DRAGON: Yup.
ADVENTURERS:
DRAGON:
ADVENTURERS: Fucksake

ADVENTURERS: We're here for your treasure!
DRAGON: Are you registered with my accounts department?
ADVENTURERS: What?
DRAGON: I can't pay you unless you are
ADVENTURERS: Why didn't you tell us that 3 months ago when we started this quest?!
DRAGON: Your agency should have told you

ADVENTURERS: We're here for your treasure!
DRAGONS: Congrats! Here you go.
ADVENTURERS: What... what is this?
DRAGON: DragCoin. It's my new crypto. Gonna be worth millions, bro
ADVENTURERS: Have you published the blockchain?
DRAGON: HAHAHA listen to little Bill Gates here!

ADVENTURERS: We're here for your treasure!
DRAGON: Righto. Here
ADVENTURERS: Um... Esso Tiger tokens?
DRAGON: MILLIONS of them
ADVENTURERS: When was the last time you left this cave?
DRAGON: It's been a while
ADVENTURERS:
DRAGON: Don't spend it all on Gareth Southgate bobbleheads

ADVENTURERS: We're here for your treasure!
DRAGONS: Congrats. Here.
ADVENTURERS: Um... this isn't as much as we...
DRAGONS: You also get equity.
ADVENTURERS: Equity?
DRAGONS: Equity

ADVENTURERS: We're here for your treasure!
DRAGON: Here
ADVENTURERS: This is way less than we were told
DRAGON: Yeah but think about how many people saw you fight your in way here
ADVENTURERS: So?
DRAGON: The EXPOSURE dude
ADVENTURERS:
DRAGON: Frankly you guys should be paying me

ADVENTURERS: We're here for your treasure!
DRAGON: Here
ADVENTURERS: This is... a login for an anime art twitter account
DRAGON: 512k followers dude
ADVENTURERS: It's not even your art. You just put your logo on it
DRAGON: Hey, they don't want me to use it they shouldn't post it

ADVENTURERS: We're here for your treasure!
DRAGON: Here you go
ADVENTURERS:
DRAGON:
ADVENTURERS: Um... Nothing happened?
DRAGON: I just gave you sovereignty! Can't you feel it?
ADVENTURERS: No offence, but do you have something more... tangible?
DRAGON: Sovereignty!
ADVENTURERS:

ADVENTURERS: We're here for your treasure!
DRAGON: Righto. Here.
ADVENTURERS: Jesus... that's...
DRAGON: Yeah. I know
ADVENTURERS: That's a LOT of Funko Pops.
DRAGON: Yeah. To be honest, you're doing me a bit of a favour here.

ADVENTURERS: We're here for your treasure!
DRAGON: Fair cop. Here.
ADVENTURERS: It's... some kind of card?
DRAGON: It's a Black Lotus!
ADVENTURERS: ???
DRAGON: Black. Lotus.
ADVENTURERS: A..?
DRAGON: BLACK! LOTUS!
ADVENTURERS: STOP SAYING THAT.

INTERMISSION:

As per usual, you can find my more (or occasionally less) serious stuff on Medium. Here is 'Pratchett does Brexit' https://medium.com/@garius/come-back-pterry-we-need-you-4572541019bd

You can also follow me for general nonsense. Or, if you're REALLY lovely, buy me a coffee here: https://ko-fi.com/garius 

ADVENTURERS: We're here for your treasure!
DRAGON: Are Beanie Babies still a thing?
ADVENTURERS: What? No.
DRAGON: Huh. Okay, then I think you're about to be SUPER annoyed at me.

ADVENTURERS: We're here for your treasure!
DRAGON: Ya got me.
ADVENTURERS: Fuck yeah!
DRAGON: Okay, I just need you to write down your name and your bank details
ADVENTURERS: My... is this some kind of scam?
DRAGON: Of course not! Now if you could jot down mother's maiden name...

ADVENTURERS: We're here for your treasure!
DRAGON: Oh no! Well, here you go.
ADVENTURERS: Brilliant! Thanks
DRAGON: Glad you're happy. Don't forget to rate me on TripAdvisor!
ADVENTURER: TripAdvisor?
DRAGON: Please. It makes such a difference.

ADVENTURERS: We're here for your treasure!
DRAGON: Tada!
ADVENTURERS: What's this?
DRAGON: A loot box! Open it! What ya get?
ADVENTURERS: A weird spear and a shirt in a different colour
DRAGON: Ooh congrats
ADVENTURERS: This spear isn't as good as my one
DRAGON: Oh that's too bad

ADVENTURERS: We're here for your treasure!
DRAGON: Oh know! Guess ya got me. Here.
ADVENTURERS: Star Wars Pogs?
DRAGON: The full set.

ADVENTURERS: We're here for your treasure!
DRAGON: No problem. It's over there.
ADVENTURERS: But it's...
DRAGON: ...all in copper pieces, yes.
ADVENTURERS: But there's no way we can carry all that!
DRAGON: Logistics is a bitch, isn't it?

ADVENTURERS: We're here for your treasure!
DRAGON: A question: How rich is your village?
ADVENTURERS: Poor farmers! We adventure to...
DRAGON: Ah
ADVENTURERS: What
DRAGON: So here's a TED talk I gave on hyper-inflation
ADVENTURERS: Hyper..?
DRAGON: Don't worry. It has graphs

ADVENTURERS: We're here for... oh no.
DRAGON: Well hello! I know you! You visited me near Baldur's Gate!
ADVENTURERS: Yes! You gave us all that worthless DragCoin!
DRAGON: The exchange will be launching shortly
ADVENTURERS: What are you even doing here?
DRAGON: I was relocated

DRAGON: Are you not going to ask for my treasure?
ADVENTURERS: No! I know how this ends! You'll just confuse me and we'll leave with nothing again!
DRAGON: I might not
ADVENTURERS: Fine. We're here for your treasure
DRAGON: So you know how hard it is to get Hamilton tickets? Well