Being careful w/ my words b/c this is a touchy subject. I’m speaking only to Black ppl here as usual

As a Black therapist who specializes in trauma...just being a parent, doesn’t make you an expert on parenting/child development. I see the effects of parents winging it everyday

I wrote a 4-parenting series linked here covering really taking a deep honest look at the relationship you’re bringing kids into, who your partner is & if you co-parent well together, your expectations about parenting, your emotions/feelings, fears, etc: https://twitter.com/queeringpsych/status/1112005126473039872?s=21

Parenting isnt a right. It’s a FT job. You are training a human on how to be a healthy adult & community member. Not everyone is a match for that job & that’s ok. White supremacy/capitalism spins the lie that EVERYONE needs to have kids to be a real adult w/ a satisfying life

Many, if not most, ppl are not raised (due to socialization) to see parenting as the thankless job it really is. It involves so much sacrifice b/c you have to prepare yourself mentally/physically and change how your life functions to prepare to take on this role of parenting.

And due to the false idea that having kids is just another milestone in life, ppl have kids & then resent the kids for being more work/sacrifice than they intended. I think a lot less ppl would have kids if they could do things again & weren’t pressured by society to reproduce.

Also a lot of ppl pass down harmful ideas due to their own traumas & are never given the opportunity to heal in a safe space before having kids. Effectively passing their traumas to their kids. And then society tells ppl that mental health isn’t important, continuing the cycle

This is (again) why more Black therapists who practice clinically with an awareness of systemic oppression, socialization, etc is so important. We play a major role in helping our ppl heal themselves

That’s why we all need to find more ways to make therapy affordable if not FREE