Canucks Hunger Games, let's goooooo

Things got vicious. Also Eddie Lack is a coward.

Jake thinks about Abby, as he does. Quinn builds a shack because why not. Petey shows mercy.

Werthers gave me an axe. Edler hurt his ankle running from Myers which makes sense because one stride from Myers is worth 8 strides from Edler, so you know he's gotta be running fast. And geezus Eriksson helps to drown Schaller.

Eddie continues to be useless. In a horrifying turn of events Thatcher Demko murders me after I just wrote such nice things about him. Where was my partner Eddie?? Failing to build fires.

Horvat convinces Edler the only way to survive is to share body heat. Loui continues to be true to life. And once again Eddie Lack continues to be horrible at Hunger Games.

How many times have I said hydration is important? Luongo didn't listen. Also Sven and Pearson are done. Also Loui goes out in perhaps the most perfect way possible. Jake takes Myers out with him.

Chris Tanev is fucking ice cold. Also Troy From Richmond doing what he always does: Survive. In a shocking turn of events, EP Loui's himself to death.

A lot of people falling into puddles. The heavy favorites of EP and Brock are done. The gritty district 6 are looking good. Local boys who know the terrain.

Troy having an existential crisis. Probably wondering how he keeps ending up at the same spot that he starts at every year. Demko, who murdered me, is once again used to kill someone else, but Thatcher can't do it anymore. Where was that when I was on the chopping block

Josh Leivo is a god damn beast. Tanev is ice cold as we saw, so this is no surprise either.

So help me god if Eddie wins this

Action has slowed down in the final four as now they're singing songs while Josh Leivo passes out from being tired from murdering so many people

Leivo, whose conscience has finally caught up to him, begs Eddie to take him out. But Eddie, who is lazy, refuses to do any actual work. Troy Stecher falls into a pit of 13 minutes.

@eddielack finishes third, and it's quite poetic that it's former roommate Chris Tanev who takes him out.

And just like that, Chris Tanev is your winner. #CanucksHungerGames